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I see the sun peeking through the clouds!

Testing comes in many forms.  I felt pulled into my role as a foster parent.  Not by the agency, the child, or anyone else, but by my God.  He gave me a heart for lost ones.  He is now calling me to be stronger than I thought I could be.  To be patient when I want to scream.  To smile when I want to cry. To hug, when I want to lock myself in a room.  He is calling me to stretch, to learn, to humble myself.  He is teaching me to lean on him, to reach out to my sisters in Christ for support, but to stand in the gap for this child no matter how I am feeling.

Who knew it would be so hard some days, not I.  I have always been kind of a cliff jumper, not literally, that idea scares me to death, but figuratively. Change is exciting not scary.  Some people call it fearlessness, some people call it stupidity.  I guess it depends on your perspective.  I can see merits to both sides of that argument. Some days I feel fearless, and lots of days I feel stupid.  It boils down to this for me.  I am human.  That makes me strong some days, and weak others.  I make good choices and crummy choices, they both have consequences.  Funny, that is what I am always telling my kids! Lol.  If I can still laugh, and see the sunny side, life is good.  Life is a mix of all kinds of fun, a whole bunch of work, and a little tragedy here and there to keep us on our toes.  As long as I can still see the sun through the clouds on more days than not, I am doing just fine.

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