I had a tough week last week. Physically a mess, it happens. I am on the other side now, feeling better, and able to see through the haze of pain and exhaustion. In hind sight I can see that I fell into a big pit of self pity, I blame the lack of sleep, in my defense I was really, really, tired. I noticed myself getting really irritated with my loved ones. I was feeling like no one really cared how I felt as long as I still took care of everything. Crummy way to feel, let me tell you. I ended up going to the ER Friday, because I needed some relief and my Dr. wouldn't see me for a week. I spent the entire day sitting around doing absolutely nothing. As miserable as it was, it gave me time to think in relative quiet (except for the mental patient screaming in the room next to me). I ran through a lesson in my head, that I need to be re-taught over and over again it seems. No matter how you feel, always try to give others your absolute best. Your kindest, most patient, most loving self. I made up my mind on the way home from the hospital that I was going to adjust my attitude. You cannot change the behavior of others, especially not by snapping at them, and being frustrated. I can only change myself. It works magic, I swear to it. When I give my loved ones my sweetest, most loving self, what I get back is almost like a mirror. It is a more kind, thoughtful, loving, family. One of my absolute favorite books, Wife after God's own Heart, by Elizabeth George says it best....
Living a lovely life preaches a louder and lovelier message than your lips could ever proclaim.
Words to live by.
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