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End of September thoughts.....

I am experiencing a whole array of new experiences lately. First, the four schools business, I don't want to beat this dead horse, but seriously it is something interesting. For the first time in my life as a parent, I have become highly aware of fairness. I never thought fairness was something worth losing sleep over. I mean, life isn't fair, right? When you have four children and limited resources, fairness is pie in the sky. Someone is always going to be ahead of the others, the key is to make sure it isn't the same kid every time. With the disparity in school environments, I find myself worrying myself sick about my eldest. He is smart, but lazy, athletically gifted, but no fire in his belly. He is at a huge public high school, and I am worried. I am also concerned about my 11 year old, the reasons, the same, with the exception of the school environment. He is in a pretty good school environment, but again, no fire in his belly, and he has to be forced to do anything that requires movement. Thankfully my 14 yr old, and my 5 yr old seem to be doing great. Time will tell, but their environments are working for them, they seem motivated, and they have enough fire in the belly between them to supply the whole family.

I am concerned that my attention is so fractured these days, that no one is getting my best. I have taken on a few new things this Fall, one being a consulting project, and I love the work, but it does tense me up a little, because I have to depend on others to take care of getting everyone where they need to be, with what they need (lunches, sports equip, etc..) and when I work I am unable to help at all. I leave at 5am, get home at 7pm, a zombie.

I am thankful to have a very capable husband, and we are blessed that he works from home, but I am a woman, I think I am the only one who can do anything right. :) You relate, right?

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