I am helping to prepare a baby shower for a young woman at our church. She is young, just 22. Thinking about her, and what the future may hold for her and her little family, got me to thinking about life at 22.
Much has changed for me since I was 22. That was really a difficult time. I didn't realize at the time that it was difficult. I had graduated from college, was having a post college, pre-real life, super good time. I was bar tending, partying, picking up and traveling to far away places to party some more. I didn't really have much in the way of financial responsibility yet, and my parents were living in Egypt-- leaving me in charge of the house and my younger sister. It was an "out all night, sleep all day", kind of life. To be honest, I was setting a pretty poor example for my sister, who at the time was working full-time at a nursing home, and was far more responsible than I was.
Looking back at that time, and even later, till about age 25, it makes me a little sad. I had good friends. I certainly had a lot of "fun", reckless as it was. I think about how I was sitting in God's hand the whole time, and I didn't give him the time of day. He protected me through bad decision after bad decision, yet still I wouldn't acknowledge him. He loved me, even when I didn't love and respect myself. He had plans for me, I just wasn't clued in I guess. When you are a Christian, people often ask you to share your testimony, that is how/when you came to know the Lord. Mine is a little strange, at least it seems so to me. In all honesty, I think I have always been a believer. I believed that God existed, but I just didn't get what that had to do with me. I was smart, and liberal, and believed in the power of science, and man....but I just couldn't kick that nudging feeling that there had to be something more powerful than man out there. I marched for causes I wouldn't be caught dead marching for now. I thought I was smarter than all of those naive, Jesus believing types. Know anyone like that???? I sure do. I know and love quite a few people who still believe they make there own way, earn everything the get, and believe that science disproves all of that ho-key Christian mantra.
So how did I get from there, to here?? Gods grace, is the only answer I can give. He protected me through countless life threatening situations. Although I come from a family (on my birth Dad's side) of alcoholism and drug addiction, and I did plenty of both, I never became addicted. Praise God for that, life would have been very different. He blessed me with children when I was ready, and not before. He brought an incredible man into my life, who loved me, all of me, broken as I was, who looks at me every single day and tells me how lucky he is to have me in his life. He allowed me to use my gifts to earn a good living, to build and love a family, to lend support to causes that are important to me.
So when did I finally acknowledge that it was all Him, and not my own doing? I believe it was when I got pregnant for the 2nd time. You see, I always knew I wanted to be a mother. I didn't believe that I would be able to get pregnant. I though all of those years of bad behavior would have consequences in the worst way possible, I would be denied what I wanted most. But that isn't how it worked. First he blessed me with a husband who wanted children whether they were his own, or adopted, which helped me to relax, knowing we would be have children one way or another. Then he blessed me with pregnancy number one, then 6 months after my first was born, I got pregnant again. I started to look for him in my life then, and I could no longer deny what had been in front of me all along.
He loved me. That was when, slowly, I began to love Him. Now I barely decide what to eat for breakfast without consulting Him, lol. I love myself so much more, now that I can see myself through his eyes. It has been life changing for me. So that is the story of my slow....but sure....story of my coming to Christ.
Much has changed for me since I was 22. That was really a difficult time. I didn't realize at the time that it was difficult. I had graduated from college, was having a post college, pre-real life, super good time. I was bar tending, partying, picking up and traveling to far away places to party some more. I didn't really have much in the way of financial responsibility yet, and my parents were living in Egypt-- leaving me in charge of the house and my younger sister. It was an "out all night, sleep all day", kind of life. To be honest, I was setting a pretty poor example for my sister, who at the time was working full-time at a nursing home, and was far more responsible than I was.
Looking back at that time, and even later, till about age 25, it makes me a little sad. I had good friends. I certainly had a lot of "fun", reckless as it was. I think about how I was sitting in God's hand the whole time, and I didn't give him the time of day. He protected me through bad decision after bad decision, yet still I wouldn't acknowledge him. He loved me, even when I didn't love and respect myself. He had plans for me, I just wasn't clued in I guess. When you are a Christian, people often ask you to share your testimony, that is how/when you came to know the Lord. Mine is a little strange, at least it seems so to me. In all honesty, I think I have always been a believer. I believed that God existed, but I just didn't get what that had to do with me. I was smart, and liberal, and believed in the power of science, and man....but I just couldn't kick that nudging feeling that there had to be something more powerful than man out there. I marched for causes I wouldn't be caught dead marching for now. I thought I was smarter than all of those naive, Jesus believing types. Know anyone like that???? I sure do. I know and love quite a few people who still believe they make there own way, earn everything the get, and believe that science disproves all of that ho-key Christian mantra.
So how did I get from there, to here?? Gods grace, is the only answer I can give. He protected me through countless life threatening situations. Although I come from a family (on my birth Dad's side) of alcoholism and drug addiction, and I did plenty of both, I never became addicted. Praise God for that, life would have been very different. He blessed me with children when I was ready, and not before. He brought an incredible man into my life, who loved me, all of me, broken as I was, who looks at me every single day and tells me how lucky he is to have me in his life. He allowed me to use my gifts to earn a good living, to build and love a family, to lend support to causes that are important to me.
So when did I finally acknowledge that it was all Him, and not my own doing? I believe it was when I got pregnant for the 2nd time. You see, I always knew I wanted to be a mother. I didn't believe that I would be able to get pregnant. I though all of those years of bad behavior would have consequences in the worst way possible, I would be denied what I wanted most. But that isn't how it worked. First he blessed me with a husband who wanted children whether they were his own, or adopted, which helped me to relax, knowing we would be have children one way or another. Then he blessed me with pregnancy number one, then 6 months after my first was born, I got pregnant again. I started to look for him in my life then, and I could no longer deny what had been in front of me all along.
He loved me. That was when, slowly, I began to love Him. Now I barely decide what to eat for breakfast without consulting Him, lol. I love myself so much more, now that I can see myself through his eyes. It has been life changing for me. So that is the story of my slow....but sure....story of my coming to Christ.
Thank you Victoria for sharing this. I admire your honesty and integrity, watching your boys grow and the love that you share for your family and Our Lord.
ReplyDeleteEating behavior: For years I have tried it on my own or when I remember, But with God's help and interaction I now am certain that I need to consult HIM before I put anything in my mouth.
ReplyDelete