I see the sun peeking through the clouds!

Testing comes in many forms. I felt pulled into my role as a foster parent. Not by the agency, the child, or anyone else, but by my God. He gave me a heart for lost ones. He is now calling me to be stronger than I thought I could be. To be patient when I want to scream. To smile when I want to cry. To hug, when I want to lock myself in a room. He is calling me to stretch, to learn, to humble myself. He is teaching me to lean on him, to reach out to my sisters in Christ for support, but to stand in the gap for this child no matter how I am feeling.

Who knew it would be so hard some days, not I. I have always been kind of a cliff jumper, not literally, that idea scares me to death, but figuratively. Change is exciting not scary. Some people call it fearlessness, some people call it stupidity. I guess it depends on your perspective. I can see merits to both sides of that argument. Some days I feel fearless, and lots of days I feel stupid. It boils down to this for me. I am human. That makes me strong some days, and weak others. I make good choices and crummy choices, they both have consequences. Funny, that is what I am always telling my kids! Lol. If I can still laugh, and see the sunny side, life is good. Life is a mix of all kinds of fun, a whole bunch of work, and a little tragedy here and there to keep us on our toes. As long as I can still see the sun through the clouds on more days than not, I am doing just fine.

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Fox hole parenting

I enter this new week a little tired, but smiling. Why? No drama this weekend. We had sunshine, and sports, and cuddle time--- less the drama. Most families don't experience the intense level of emotions that the Rhodes clan does. Sure, they have the hectic life of families, perhaps some fighting, the normal mess--- perhaps a little teen hormone induced drama....but we have drama of a different kind in our house. The kind of drama caused by a brain that is shooting off crazy chemicals induced by years of trauma. When our son Victor is home, the whole world is a great big land mine. Saying the wrong thing, calling him out on behavior, or even suggesting that he not eat a 4th serving of ice cream can cause the the peace to recede, and for chaos to ensue. He is now in a boarding school for kids with emotional issues. As sad as it is that our family isn't all together--- I must admit that the peace in our household is a welcome blessing. We are learning more and more

New season of renewal & refinement

I am a girl with strong faith. Strong, blind, childlike faith. My atheist friends are bewildered by it. They cannot understand how such a smart woman would believe such "nonsense". I have no explanation other than, I just do. I preface this post with that statement because, you won't find me quoting scripture here. Though I would if I were more confident in my ability to do so competently. I do not have that confidence, never have. I am a believer. My belief has been nurtured by life experience, by answered prayers, by constant evidence that God cares about me. I see his hand in big things and small. I look to him for guidance and help in all things. I am not a Biblical scholar. I have always been somewhat insecure about that. I am bolstered up by the words of a Godly woman much wiser than I who assures me that "I am living my walk out loud". My faith is not in my knowledge of the scripture, but in the choices I make each and every day. I

Networking can be expensive!

I went to a cool women's networking meeting the other night. It was with an organization called Heartlink . It was at some one's house. An awesome dinner was served. Tables set, lovely hospitality, and about 20 very interesting women were there. We each got 3 minutes to introduce ourselves and tell a bit about our business's. Most of the women knew each other already. Many of the women present had business's that sell through direct marketing. Most of the big ones were represented, and a few new ones I had never heard of but found interesting. There were also women with other business's like insurance, legal services, printing, etc... It is great to meet like minded people, and I can definitely see the benefits of attending regularly. The bad part however, is it leaves you wanting to go shopping! All of a sudden, I MUST have the new mango cutter from Pampered Chef, and I am yearning to freshen up my candles, and I NEED a hole new wardrobe from CABi .

The Sky is Blue

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