Skip to main content

"No thanks" without guilt

Do you struggle with boundaries?  Saying no is hard.  Sometimes you even have to say no to things that you would enjoy doing, because you have other priorities.   I certainly haven't mastered this, but I am not bad at it.  I remember many years ago, when my oldest sons were still little.  I was working full-time at a Training Consulting firm, had a great job, and a boss who knew and trusted me.  That is where I learned that I could, and needed to set boundaries that were in line with my values and priorities.  It was tough.  No matter how understanding your boss is.... it is not cool to have to get up in the middle of a meeting to get to daycare on time to pick up your kids.  It wears thin on the boss, and they start to question your dedication to the job.

When that happened in my career, I decided to chose my family.  I quit my job, gave up a really good income, and made a go of it at home.  I stayed home for 10 years, what a gift.  As a stay at home Mom, I got very involved in volunteering at school.  Slowly but surely, my commitments got bigger every year.  When it started to interfere with family time, and started stressing me out, I pulled back, and started saying, no thank you.

Time is so precious, and it is easy to let it slip away from you even for the best of causes.  Now I am back to work.  I work from home, as an independent consultant.  I can still pick up my kids, be present, volunteer at school and church, and handle life without going crazy. But I still find I have to say no to good things. :( Like I have to choose to work, so that I have billable hours, rather than scrapbooking with my friends.  I can't always have coffee to catch up with a friend-- sometimes I can, but sometimes I have to rush home for a conference call.  Jeff and I don't get too many dinners out alone, we go as a family, because we know that our time with our teens is getting more, and more, limited, and we want to be with them as much as we can now. This is a season that many of our friends are enjoying the freedom of having older kids, but we have our little guys.  We chose to have them, knowing it would extend this season of business.

It is all about choices. Making the ones that align with what you value.  Then being ok with the idea, that sometimes you have to say no to good things. :)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fox hole parenting

I enter this new week a little tired, but smiling.  Why? No drama this weekend.  We had sunshine, and sports, and cuddle time--- less the drama.  Most families don't experience the intense level of emotions that the Rhodes clan does. Sure, they have the hectic life of families, perhaps some fighting, the normal mess--- perhaps a little teen hormone induced drama....but we have drama of a different kind in our house.  The kind of drama caused by a brain that is shooting off crazy chemicals induced by years of trauma.  When our son Victor is home, the whole world is a great big land mine.  Saying the wrong thing, calling him out on behavior, or even suggesting that he not eat a 4th serving of ice cream can cause the the peace to recede, and for chaos to ensue. He is now in a boarding school for kids with emotional issues.  As sad as it is that our family isn't all together--- I must admit that the peace in our household is a welcome blessing.  We are learning more and more
Post a Comment
Read more

New season of renewal & refinement

I am a girl with strong faith.  Strong, blind, childlike faith.  My atheist friends are bewildered by it.  They cannot understand how such a smart woman would believe such "nonsense".  I have no explanation other than, I just do. I preface this post with that statement because, you won't find me quoting scripture here.  Though I would if I were more confident in my ability to do so competently.  I do not have that confidence, never have.  I am a believer.  My belief has been nurtured by life experience, by answered prayers, by constant evidence that God cares about me.  I see his hand in big things and small. I look to him for guidance and help in all things.  I am not a Biblical scholar.  I have always been somewhat insecure about that.  I am bolstered up by the words of a Godly woman much wiser than I who assures me that "I am living my walk out loud".  My faith is not in my knowledge of the scripture, but in the choices I make each and every day. I
Post a Comment
Read more

Networking can be expensive!

I went to a cool women's networking meeting the other night. It was with an organization called Heartlink . It was at some one's house. An awesome dinner was served. Tables set, lovely hospitality, and about 20 very interesting women were there. We each got 3 minutes to introduce ourselves and tell a bit about our business's. Most of the women knew each other already. Many of the women present had business's that sell through direct marketing. Most of the big ones were represented, and a few new ones I had never heard of but found interesting. There were also women with other business's like insurance, legal services, printing, etc... It is great to meet like minded people, and I can definitely see the benefits of attending regularly. The bad part however, is it leaves you wanting to go shopping! All of a sudden, I MUST have the new mango cutter from Pampered Chef, and I am yearning to freshen up my candles, and I NEED a hole new wardrobe from CABi .
1 comment
Read more