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"No thanks" without guilt

Do you struggle with boundaries?  Saying no is hard.  Sometimes you even have to say no to things that you would enjoy doing, because you have other priorities.   I certainly haven't mastered this, but I am not bad at it.  I remember many years ago, when my oldest sons were still little.  I was working full-time at a Training Consulting firm, had a great job, and a boss who knew and trusted me.  That is where I learned that I could, and needed to set boundaries that were in line with my values and priorities.  It was tough.  No matter how understanding your boss is.... it is not cool to have to get up in the middle of a meeting to get to daycare on time to pick up your kids.  It wears thin on the boss, and they start to question your dedication to the job.

When that happened in my career, I decided to chose my family.  I quit my job, gave up a really good income, and made a go of it at home.  I stayed home for 10 years, what a gift.  As a stay at home Mom, I got very involved in volunteering at school.  Slowly but surely, my commitments got bigger every year.  When it started to interfere with family time, and started stressing me out, I pulled back, and started saying, no thank you.

Time is so precious, and it is easy to let it slip away from you even for the best of causes.  Now I am back to work.  I work from home, as an independent consultant.  I can still pick up my kids, be present, volunteer at school and church, and handle life without going crazy. But I still find I have to say no to good things. :( Like I have to choose to work, so that I have billable hours, rather than scrapbooking with my friends.  I can't always have coffee to catch up with a friend-- sometimes I can, but sometimes I have to rush home for a conference call.  Jeff and I don't get too many dinners out alone, we go as a family, because we know that our time with our teens is getting more, and more, limited, and we want to be with them as much as we can now. This is a season that many of our friends are enjoying the freedom of having older kids, but we have our little guys.  We chose to have them, knowing it would extend this season of business.

It is all about choices. Making the ones that align with what you value.  Then being ok with the idea, that sometimes you have to say no to good things. :)

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