I know I have written on this topic before, but wow, it is hitting in my household like a pie in the face, Life is different now than it was way back in the 80's. I never questioned what Middle school or High School I would attend, I just walked to the end of my road, got on a bus (that was free by the way), and went to school.
My parents didn't deliberate and lose sleep over which school was best. It was your assigned school, or private school, and the majority of families chose public--at least in rural Southern Pennsylvania. I knew most of the same kids all through school. I wasn't an exceptional student. I was smart, but lazy. I did well in the classes I enjoyed, not so well in the ones that didn't -- ie: Chemistry, Algebra, etc.... I got in a little bit of trouble, but I had a pretty smile, and all of my teachers knew my Mom, so I got an extra measure of grace-- it didn't hurt that my best friend's Mother was the Principals secretary, lol. Oh.....I digress....this post wasn't going to be about me, but I was heading somewhere with this. I don't remember pressure. I don't remember SAT & ACT prep courses, and Essay tutoring, or my mother flipping out when I failed a semester of chemistry. Sure, my parents were ticked, but I don't remember any "You'll never get in to a decent college with those grades!!!" lectures.
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God has a funny sense of humor. He blessed Jeff and I with a son who is a perfect meld of our best and our worst qualities. William is smart, really smart actually. He is good looking, funny, sweet, has an amazing heart, he is great with kids, charming, strong, athletic, oh......and really lazy. No offense sweetie, you know you are super lazy.
So speed up to 2013. We live in LA, not rural Southern Pennsylvania. Here, we have decision making to do regarding which school, which papers to file, who do you have to know to get into that school, applications, essays. Oh, and there is no such thing as a free school bus. The pressure that parents put on kids to get really good grades is incredible. There are tutors to hire, learning centers, summer school, test prep courses, and the list goes on. For many years we avoided putting that pressure on William. We just asked him to give it his best effort, engage, and the grades would follow. Well now that he is a junior, and we are looking at colleges, I was starting to go into Mommy panic mode. Oh, my, goodness, these grades will not do!!!!
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When I calm down and really think about it, I know I have nothing to worry about. He will be fine. He will end up where he is supposed to be. He will discover for himself what path he wants to follow. He will earn the grades he earns, and if that limits his opportunities, well, you reap what you sow. It isn't the end of the world and could be a decent life lesson. I turned out ok, and I didn't go to an ivy league school. I had a ball in college, actually graduated, and went on to have a good career, and become a respectable adult. Why am I having so much trouble letting him make his own mistakes? I keep wondering, what if....what if I stop nagging, maybe he will be self inspired, and start really working hard!! It is a gamble. Not good odds though. :)
My parents didn't deliberate and lose sleep over which school was best. It was your assigned school, or private school, and the majority of families chose public--at least in rural Southern Pennsylvania. I knew most of the same kids all through school. I wasn't an exceptional student. I was smart, but lazy. I did well in the classes I enjoyed, not so well in the ones that didn't -- ie: Chemistry, Algebra, etc.... I got in a little bit of trouble, but I had a pretty smile, and all of my teachers knew my Mom, so I got an extra measure of grace-- it didn't hurt that my best friend's Mother was the Principals secretary, lol. Oh.....I digress....this post wasn't going to be about me, but I was heading somewhere with this. I don't remember pressure. I don't remember SAT & ACT prep courses, and Essay tutoring, or my mother flipping out when I failed a semester of chemistry. Sure, my parents were ticked, but I don't remember any "You'll never get in to a decent college with those grades!!!" lectures.
.jpg)
So speed up to 2013. We live in LA, not rural Southern Pennsylvania. Here, we have decision making to do regarding which school, which papers to file, who do you have to know to get into that school, applications, essays. Oh, and there is no such thing as a free school bus. The pressure that parents put on kids to get really good grades is incredible. There are tutors to hire, learning centers, summer school, test prep courses, and the list goes on. For many years we avoided putting that pressure on William. We just asked him to give it his best effort, engage, and the grades would follow. Well now that he is a junior, and we are looking at colleges, I was starting to go into Mommy panic mode. Oh, my, goodness, these grades will not do!!!!
.jpeg)
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When I calm down and really think about it, I know I have nothing to worry about. He will be fine. He will end up where he is supposed to be. He will discover for himself what path he wants to follow. He will earn the grades he earns, and if that limits his opportunities, well, you reap what you sow. It isn't the end of the world and could be a decent life lesson. I turned out ok, and I didn't go to an ivy league school. I had a ball in college, actually graduated, and went on to have a good career, and become a respectable adult. Why am I having so much trouble letting him make his own mistakes? I keep wondering, what if....what if I stop nagging, maybe he will be self inspired, and start really working hard!! It is a gamble. Not good odds though. :)
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