Wow, so much has changed for me since Mother's day. I can't begin to detail it all in one post. I have to process how, and how much to even share. Let's just say that while I have always been honest about my crazy life, I am not sure I was ever fully honest-- even with my self-- about the toll it was taking on me. I have built a big, full, beautiful, life. I have no regrets. I over spent a bit on that big, beautiful life, and I am not talking about money. I am talking about emotional energy, spirit, what ever words you use to describe the hootspah that keeps you showing up for your life every day. I woke up one day realizing that I had messed things up a little. I was "checking out"on my life a bit. Missing out on the moments that matter. Lucky for me, I know perfection is overrated, and while humility isn't alway pretty, it sure is liberating.
I enter this new week a little tired, but smiling. Why? No drama this weekend. We had sunshine, and sports, and cuddle time--- less the drama. Most families don't experience the intense level of emotions that the Rhodes clan does. Sure, they have the hectic life of families, perhaps some fighting, the normal mess--- perhaps a little teen hormone induced drama....but we have drama of a different kind in our house. The kind of drama caused by a brain that is shooting off crazy chemicals induced by years of trauma. When our son Victor is home, the whole world is a great big land mine. Saying the wrong thing, calling him out on behavior, or even suggesting that he not eat a 4th serving of ice cream can cause the the peace to recede, and for chaos to ensue. He is now in a boarding school for kids with emotional issues. As sad as it is that our family isn't all together--- I must admit that the peace in our household is a welcome blessing. We are learning more and more
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