Skip to main content

Helen, what do you think?

I woke up this morning thinking about my Grandmother.  She has been gone a while now, but she is really present with me. I often find myself wondering what she would think, or what she would say, about my life.  This morning it occurred to me that she would tell me, "you can't help getting older Vic, but you can't just let yourself go!" I have been a touch obsessive lately about my aging skin, and have been beating myself up about my weight--but not doing anything about it.

For some reason this morning I found myself thinking about my childhood with her. I didn't live with her, but spent a lot of time there.  I remember every detail of her home, and it makes me really sad, and sentimental.  I have such good memories of her house.  That led me to thinking about the fact that she raised three children in that house.  It was a neighborhood of brick row homes in Baltimore.  A nice house, but not huge, and not fancy.  It had a small living room, a dining room, a small galley kitchen, three bedrooms upstairs with one bathroom.  My favorite part was the basement.  It had a black and white linoleum floor, orange "leather" furniture, and Pop's Bar- that my Dad made for him.  My Dad was building that in our basement, and told me he was building an airplane so I wouldn't blow the surprise-- I believed him.  They were nice homes, and most everyone lived in them.  In fact I can only think of a few families that I knew who lived in Single Family, unconnected homes in those times.

Sooooo, fast forward.  My Mom and Father divorced.  My Dad stayed in the neighborhood in our brick row home a few blocks from my grandparents.  My mom and my step-Dad, bought land in Pennsylvania and built a house, so I grew up there.  My parents worked hard, we had a nice home,  we didn't do without.  I always knew I could go to college, I always knew I would get new school clothes, I was given my first car, I never had to pay my insurance....in hind sight, that was all a big deal.  My parents were frugal, but they really took care of us, I grew up assuming that is how life goes for everyone. Thank you Mom and Dad, you really have blessed us.

Sooooo, fast forward again.  I am an adult, I am getting married, I am having children.  My expectations for what life is supposed to be like, what success looks like, are by this point inflated and completely out of alignment.  My expectations are to have more, more, more.  So back to my Mom Mom Helen, who was a proud woman, and was very proud of her clean children and her home.  What makes me (or anyone really) think we NEED so much??? Why do we NEED a huge home with a TV in every room?  Why do we NEED so much stuff?  If I can stay focused on the prize, love, family, following my Lord where ever he leads me, I will enjoy this time so much more.  Mom Mom, would be shaking her head at me in disapproval if she knew how much I obsess over stupid things. Then she would tell me to go on a diet, and start doing sit ups-- and to stop putting that fork in my mouth.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I would LOVE a cleaning fairy!

Every woman has things in her life she is willing to pay for, and things she feels like she can and should do herself. My list is generally a little different than most women I think. My sister would tell you it is because I think I can do things better than other people, hee , hee ... she thinks I am a bit on the controlling side. I cut my own hair, do my own hair color, do my own facials, make jewelry, that sort of thing. I will admit, it is a rare occasion that I pay hundreds of dollars for a color and cut, and walk out feeling amazing. I am almost always disappointed in the result. I get a manicure & pedicure, and always regret the color choice- or see smudges. It just makes me mad to pay a lot of money for mediocre results. (I can get mediocre results myself!) One thing I definitely am willing to pay for, that I easily admit I am the worst at, is CLEANING MY HOUSE!! I really hate it. I love the calm and peace that comes with the clean, well organized home. I thri...

To get something good, first we have to tolerate chaos.

I am swirling in chaos! Our little remodeling projects, ie: painting the boys rooms, have resulted in a whirl of mess, mess, mess. My husband has been diligently painting walls, repurposing furniture, meanwhile all of the clothing, shoes, toys, junk, furniture we are no longer using, etc... is lining the hallways and rooms of my house! We have tried to engage the boys in this project, but it has somehow eluded them that they have any responsibility for putting the house back together, so it it a painful exercise of command and whine. Today, we must put it back, we cannot start the week in madness. So my day, is going to be interesting. They need to help, a lot. I need to figure out how to motivate them to help, without them feeling like they are being tortured. Wish me luck, at 10:30, video games, and NFL TV go off, and cleaning commences. I'd better have another cup of coffee, and pray for the next half hour, I'm gonna need it.

New season of renewal & refinement

I am a girl with strong faith.  Strong, blind, childlike faith.  My atheist friends are bewildered by it.  They cannot understand how such a smart woman would believe such "nonsense".  I have no explanation other than, I just do. I preface this post with that statement because, you won't find me quoting scripture here.  Though I would if I were more confident in my ability to do so competently.  I do not have that confidence, never have.  I am a believer.  My belief has been nurtured by life experience, by answered prayers, by constant evidence that God cares about me.  I see his hand in big things and small. I look to him for guidance and help in all things.  I am not a Biblical scholar.  I have always been somewhat insecure about that.  I am bolstered up by the words of a Godly woman much wiser than I who assures me that "I am living my walk out loud".  My faith is not in my knowledge of the scripture, but in the...