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Helen, what do you think?

I woke up this morning thinking about my Grandmother.  She has been gone a while now, but she is really present with me. I often find myself wondering what she would think, or what she would say, about my life.  This morning it occurred to me that she would tell me, "you can't help getting older Vic, but you can't just let yourself go!" I have been a touch obsessive lately about my aging skin, and have been beating myself up about my weight--but not doing anything about it.

For some reason this morning I found myself thinking about my childhood with her. I didn't live with her, but spent a lot of time there.  I remember every detail of her home, and it makes me really sad, and sentimental.  I have such good memories of her house.  That led me to thinking about the fact that she raised three children in that house.  It was a neighborhood of brick row homes in Baltimore.  A nice house, but not huge, and not fancy.  It had a small living room, a dining room, a small galley kitchen, three bedrooms upstairs with one bathroom.  My favorite part was the basement.  It had a black and white linoleum floor, orange "leather" furniture, and Pop's Bar- that my Dad made for him.  My Dad was building that in our basement, and told me he was building an airplane so I wouldn't blow the surprise-- I believed him.  They were nice homes, and most everyone lived in them.  In fact I can only think of a few families that I knew who lived in Single Family, unconnected homes in those times.

Sooooo, fast forward.  My Mom and Father divorced.  My Dad stayed in the neighborhood in our brick row home a few blocks from my grandparents.  My mom and my step-Dad, bought land in Pennsylvania and built a house, so I grew up there.  My parents worked hard, we had a nice home,  we didn't do without.  I always knew I could go to college, I always knew I would get new school clothes, I was given my first car, I never had to pay my insurance....in hind sight, that was all a big deal.  My parents were frugal, but they really took care of us, I grew up assuming that is how life goes for everyone. Thank you Mom and Dad, you really have blessed us.

Sooooo, fast forward again.  I am an adult, I am getting married, I am having children.  My expectations for what life is supposed to be like, what success looks like, are by this point inflated and completely out of alignment.  My expectations are to have more, more, more.  So back to my Mom Mom Helen, who was a proud woman, and was very proud of her clean children and her home.  What makes me (or anyone really) think we NEED so much??? Why do we NEED a huge home with a TV in every room?  Why do we NEED so much stuff?  If I can stay focused on the prize, love, family, following my Lord where ever he leads me, I will enjoy this time so much more.  Mom Mom, would be shaking her head at me in disapproval if she knew how much I obsess over stupid things. Then she would tell me to go on a diet, and start doing sit ups-- and to stop putting that fork in my mouth.

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