I remember there being a time in high school, I don't remember if it was my junior or senior year. My best friend and I were walking on the wild side a bit. We were going to parties, doing the bad stuff that teenagers do at parties. Well, we made a really bad choice one time, got caught, and got in trouble at school for it. It was internal suspension. I guess, because my parents both worked, real suspension would have been too easy. I would have layed around watching TV all day. Instead, internal suspension meant I had to sit all day at a desk near the counselors office-- for three days. My teachers and counsellors cared about me. I was a good kid making bad choices. So I was visited by teachers, friends (the ones who my teachers thought would be a good influence on me) throughout my punishment. I don't think those visits could have made me feel any worse. I realized how much I was letting people down. I realized I wasn't giving my best to the important things. It hit me pretty hard-- in a good way. It struck a chord in me.
My son is going through something similar now. I am really struggling to parent him. I am incredibly disappointed in the way he is handling his life, but I get it. I understand how easy it is to go down the wrong path. I am having to be stern, and "mean", when I want to just love on him, and forgive everything. I can't though. I have to stick to my guns, or I will be letting him down. He needs me to be tough on him, till he can learn to hold himself to a higher standard. What will it take for him to feel to the pull to achieve? What will it take for him to find his niche, and stretch himself? What will motivate him? I don't know. I am barely holding my head above water here. He is my first teen, and I am feeling like a rookie. I am super grateful for family,coaches, pastors and friends who love our family, and want to see him succeed. It does take a village to raise a child right, his father and I can't be his only influences. Praise God for those people willing to stand beside us to see this incredible boy through to manhood. I can't wait to see the incredible man he will be some day.
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