The Sky is Blue

On the way to school this morning my sons were chatting about it being the end of school.  Summer is the best, but wow, it is here already?  This summer will look a bit different for our family.  I work now, so no slow down for me-- though it will be nice not to have 3 drop offs before work.  My husband works from home, so he now has the joy of having everyone playing and laying about while he tries to work.  I am trying to convince Nick that camp is fun, but he isn't hearing it. Our two college age sons, have yet to secure employment for the summer, so their relaxing ways are already on hubby's nerves.  I am considering a low handed tactic of changing the WiFi password, and the Netflix password daily until the boys are gainfully employed.  Not nice, I know-- but I have already tried nice--- it's not working.  They are good humans, but the job thing is a point of contention. So if anyone is in need of big strong boys to help move, do work arou...

Lit tle humans defy explanation. Just how do genetics, parenting, socioeconomic factors, and the many unknowns--mix and bubble together to form a personality? Even kids born of the same parents, brought up in the same environment, are often very different. Mix in a little neglect, abuse, and mental illness, and the picture gets even more convoluted. Life is challenging enough under the best of circumstances, but this--- this, is something altogether more draining. I am the  first to share the wonderful story of how our family was made. A conscious decision to grow our family, bringing in little souls who might otherwise be lost. We now find ourselves in the position of trying to save a lost soul who has been given a family, a safe and loving home, has all of his needs met.... and is still so lost. We are watching him free fall. Despite every effort to get him the help he needs, he slides further and further out of reach. It is overwhelming for every person in his orbit. He...

So last week an acquaintance asked me about our adoption experience. I try to always make time and energy for these questions, even when they seem trite. You ne ver can tell when someone is just being nosy, and when they are pondering exploring adoption for themselves. Most questions revolve around risk, which makes sense. Risk of losing the child once you are attached, risk of them having serious behavior or development issues, both can happen. It isn't easy. There is risk involved. You have to be willing to gamble a little. People want to hear that it can be clean, and easy. Our story is multifaceted. We had a miracle adoption- clean, easy, our son brings us nothing but joy-- and we thank God every day for the blessing. Then we had a more complicated adoption. Our son is damaged. He is hurting. Unable to trust, unable to love. It is complicated, and painful, and consuming. Do we regret our decision? I would be lying if I didn't admit that some days we wonder what life would b...

Pink is a lovely color. It is cheerful, and happy. My little guy has always loved it. Try finding pink jeans and T's for boys-- not an easy task. Nick is not a n effeminate kid. He is an active, athletic, skinned knee, dirt magnet boy. He just loves pink. If he loved blue or green-- I guess that would be no problem-- but pink makes him a target. He likes pink athletic socks, his fave hat is a pink Superman hat. He loves pink jeans. He just got pink under eye goo for football. He rules the handball court, stomps kids much taller than him in basketball, and is a little phenomenon on the football field. All while wearing his favorite color, PINK. Now while he is tough on the athletic field, he is not a fighter. He talks his fair share of smack on the court, but he is not a mean kid. He is pretty sensitive. So when boys he has been friends with for years started calling him mean names, it really hurt. The kid who begs to stay after school to play called me and asked me to...

Weekends are wonderful. Old news right? Well, for those of us who have returned to the work force, after years of stay-at-home parenting- this is a renewed revelation. When you stay home, you are never really "off". Your days are filled with driving, volunteering, teaching, shopping, cleaning, sports/dance/ art, music lessons, appointments...etc. Weekends don't provide much of a breather. Summer is a nice break to routine, no school (for some), lazy mornings (sometimes), and  beach days (at least for coastal mammas). When you return to the workforce this changes a bit. Strangely, it changes in a good way, in my personal experience. Weekends are this beacon of light at the end of the week- to anticipate. I sleep late if I want. We eat out. We enjoy being home. It is as if God granted me a new lens through which to view my home life, to ease the transition of working again. Ahhhhh, it's Friday, pizza night, family movie. Ahhhh, it's Saturday, time for sports, ...

I remember a time when I was incredibly motivated to be successful at work.  I aspired to achieve the next rung in the ladder, then the next, seeking roles of increasing responsibility and prestige. That seems like a lifetime ago.  Life is simpler now.  My boundaries are no longer blurry. Work takes a back seat to family, my health, and many other things.  Don't get me wrong, I need to work-- for obvious reasons-- college kids, private school, big family life.  The difference is, it doesn't matter quite as much to me HOW I earn the money to support my life. I do not need a position befitting my experience, and education.  I have very clear cut priorities.  I don't want to spend hours in a car every day-- sitting in traffic.  I don't want to dress up everyday, some days I just need to be comfy. I cannot tolerate high stress levels at work.  If picking up my son from school because he doesn't feel well, is going to cause a big commotion at work...