So last week an acquaintance asked me about our adoption experience. I try to always make time and energy for these questions, even when they seem trite. You never can tell when someone is just being nosy, and when they are pondering exploring adoption for themselves. Most questions revolve around risk, which makes sense. Risk of losing the child once you are attached, risk of them having serious behavior or development issues, both can happen. It isn't easy. There is risk involved. You have to be willing to gamble a little. People want to hear that it can be clean, and easy. Our story is multifaceted. We had a miracle adoption- clean, easy, our son brings us nothing but joy-- and we thank God every day for the blessing. Then we had a more complicated adoption. Our son is damaged. He is hurting. Unable to trust, unable to love. It is complicated, and painful, and consuming. Do we regret our decision? I would be lying if I didn't admit that some days we wonder what life would be like had we not made the choice to love him. But-- we are still convicted that we can help better his life. That our love WILL make a difference. So we soldier on. We give the full scoop when people ask, because this is not a journey you should enter into with your rose colored glasses on. But if you feel the pull, the tugging at your heart-- fear not. You will be given the strength. You serve a purpose bigger than you think. #fosteradoption
I enter this new week a little tired, but smiling. Why? No drama this weekend. We had sunshine, and sports, and cuddle time--- less the drama. Most families don't experience the intense level of emotions that the Rhodes clan does. Sure, they have the hectic life of families, perhaps some fighting, the normal mess--- perhaps a little teen hormone induced drama....but we have drama of a different kind in our house. The kind of drama caused by a brain that is shooting off crazy chemicals induced by years of trauma. When our son Victor is home, the whole world is a great big land mine. Saying the wrong thing, calling him out on behavior, or even suggesting that he not eat a 4th serving of ice cream can cause the the peace to recede, and for chaos to ensue. He is now in a boarding school for kids with emotional issues. As sad as it is that our family isn't all together--- I must admit that the peace in our household is a welcome blessing. We are learning more and more
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