The Sky is Blue

Sometimes I struggle with what to write here, and sometimes it just comes flowing out of my fingertips, like my heart and hands have bypassed my brain. It is weird how that works. Lately I have been trying to reach women who are frustrated by the limiting choices presented to them by our culture. I hope to share in future posts, the stories of women who have made different choices, and anonymously , share with you how they feel it has worked for them. I am fortunate to know all kinds of women. Some work full-time, some have chosen to drop out of the work world all together, some home school, some work part-time, some have booming DSA business's. I would love to hear the stories of those I don't talk to often. If you have something to share, please drop me a line at vicrhodes13@yahoo.com. I have been pleasantly surprised, and even shocked a little at the number of people who read this blog. Many are folks I haven't seen or talked to for 20+ years. How cool is techno...

Do you ever wonder why things happen when they do? Why you meet certain people at certain times in your life? Why you sometimes flourish, and sometimes suffer? I do. I have often wonder why through bad choice after bad choice, I met the man who was to be my husband. Why after indiscretion after indiscretion , I was blessed with beautiful healthy children. Why my mistakes have been used to give me insight to encourage others instead of reaping horrendous consequences . It is amazing to me that the answer was always right in front of me, but I chose to look the other way. When I rejected him, he was protecting me. What seemed a series of good luck scenarios was actually a plan. I was never in control, I was just arrogant enough to believe I was. Thank goodness, thank God.

I have been pondering this question, and I know you have too, right? I've been thinking about the options for women with children. I thought for sure the whole virtual office, and job sharing thing would really gain momentum. I believe it has to a limited extent. The likelihood that you can be Co-President of Human Resources & Training, for a prestigious firm, in a job share situation is slim. Am I wrong? I was kind of banking on something like that being possible when my career was in full swing. Lol , it didn't materialize. Nursing is a great option. My sister has had awesome success, with flexible hours, and amazing income. I'll recommend that to future young mothers, but for me, that train has passed. Beauty is a great option, hair & skin, can be lucrative, and flexible, but again, going back to school is hard. Cosmetology school is especially hard if you do have an advanced education, and have had success in business, because the beauty world has d...

Ok , so here are the typical choices for women with children... a) Be the kind of mother and wife I want to be, one who can stay home and take care of my child when he is sick, one who doesn't miss the school music performance, the one who goes on the field trip. This choice will likely result in the sacrifice of respect and upward movement at work. b) Leave my job to stay home full time with my kids, which after a while can leave me feeling disconnected from my independent self, disappointed with my failure to make it all work, and yearning for something more for myself. Professional validation if you will. All that tied in with the sacrifice of what was a substantial income, and the additional pressure that puts on my husband. Complete dependence on your husband for financial support is a huge leap of faith, and if you let it, it can put strain on your relationship. c) Work part-time, earning substantially less than I am worth, to bring in the money to pay for little extras ...

As a young woman, I was raised to go to college and prepare to take the world by storm. My mother led by example, going back to school in her 30's and getting the education that hadn't been available to her right after high school. My Dad always made it clear that I was to go to college, and to pursue a career. My mother juggled school, work, and motherhood, and seemed content with her choices. In my heart of hearts, I could always see a future full of children for myself. I did want that college education, and I pursued my career with verve, but the moment I met my spouse, my priorities started to morph almost instantaneously. I worked full time until my third child was born. I worked hard, learned from mentors, became a pretty decent leader, and was rewarded at work, but I always had a self imposed limitation. I maintained certain boundries at work, that allowed me to be the kind of wife and mother I desired to be. While my VP, Terri, was incredibly supportive of me...

Illness has decided to revisit the Rhodes Family. Friday, our lovely friend GastroNightmare , hit hard. It has decided to cling, and visit with each of us just a little while, doesn't want to be rude I suppose. My poor 10 year old has missed more days of school than any of his brothers have in their entire school careers. I am spending more on soup, tea, and cold and flu remedies than I am on groceries. We have had little visits from HeadCold Fred, and Chest Cold Marge too. Oh and headaches, ...oh and sore throats. I am weary of these unwelcome guests. I am tired. I have bags under my eyes, and I look like a wild haired house Frau . I try not to whine and complain, I really do. I don't know what I would do if I still lived back east, and I had this fun, plus the joy of freezing temperatures and no sun. :)

I am swirling in chaos! Our little remodeling projects, ie: painting the boys rooms, have resulted in a whirl of mess, mess, mess. My husband has been diligently painting walls, repurposing furniture, meanwhile all of the clothing, shoes, toys, junk, furniture we are no longer using, etc... is lining the hallways and rooms of my house! We have tried to engage the boys in this project, but it has somehow eluded them that they have any responsibility for putting the house back together, so it it a painful exercise of command and whine. Today, we must put it back, we cannot start the week in madness. So my day, is going to be interesting. They need to help, a lot. I need to figure out how to motivate them to help, without them feeling like they are being tortured. Wish me luck, at 10:30, video games, and NFL TV go off, and cleaning commences. I'd better have another cup of coffee, and pray for the next half hour, I'm gonna need it.

Raising a 4 year old in a household of much older brothers is a very different experience for me. When my older boys were this small, it was a very different household. I was a different mother. I was still forcing kids to finish their vegetables , go to bed at 8, and there was not a video game in the house. I worked full-time then, so their lives were full of structure. They went to pre -school all day, then we did dinner, baths, read & had a little play time, then off to bed. They had time-outs, and even the occasional spanking. I am so busy multi-tasking these days that if I do put Nick in time-out, I often forget he is there, and he just starts playing again-- totally ineffective I know. He plays DS , PlayStation 3, and XBox . He plays roller hockey, and can ride a skateboard. His vocabulary (while his speech is still a little difficult to understand), is like that of a 10 year old. He changes the channel on the TV, and says, "oh no, Mommy, we'd better chang...

Wow, a Saturday without a full schedule, weird. The only "have to do" today, is a birthday party for Nick's friend Makayla . I haven't been to a 4 year old birthday party for a while. I have to get a little armed up with Excedrin and prayer before we go. While the little ones are sweet, and I love them so, I can only take them in small doses. Nick by himself is challenging enough for me, add in 15 other, wild & loud 4year olds , hopped up on candy and cake, and well..... you get the picture. My husband continues his home improvement endeavours . He has already painted, and rearranged the master bedroom (he did this on Superbowl Sunday no less), now he is tackling the boys rooms. If you know Jeff, you know what a huge deal this is. It was in fact a Christmas present to me. Not the typical "love coupons", that people give one another, this one is EXTREMELY valuable. My husband hates to paint, hates to fix things, that side of husbandry is just not...

Why can't I get my boys to talk to me about girls? Why is it so weird for them? I know that 13 & 14 are ages when you really start to take notice of the opposite sex. I am sure they like girls. They will not entertain a discussion for even 5 minutes about the topic though. Neither of them is asking to date, or bring any certain girl around. I can't even get my 9th grader to admit if there is a particular girl at school that has his eye. Nothing, nada, won't discuss it. William would rather weather a storm of sit ups, up downs, and push ups, than to talk to me about girls. Jack would rather take out the garbage, and wash the car...he'll run to do chores, before engaging in a discussion about girls with me. I told William in a classic guilt inducing tone, that I hope I won't find out who he likes by getting a wedding invitation in the mail one day. He said...." Awww Mom, you'll know at least the day before the wedding, promise..."

Ok , so this weekend I have a show scheduled at my sister's house. I am on my own this time, for my launch I had the benefit of my sponsor's jewelry. She was also there to help me with pricing and questions. I am solo this time. I need to be prepared with pricing etc... I will be displaying my own jewels which at this point consist of about 20 Stella & Dot pieces. I promised my sister it would not be stressful for her to host it, and I am doing my part not to add any stress. The whole point is for it to be a fun time of hanging out with the girls. Today I have to focus on some household stuff, and then work in some work hours. I have to be careful to separate them, or else I get nothing done effectively. I have enough trouble remembering what I am doing from moment , if I try to work in laundry, while making calls, and loading the dishwasher... I'll be a mess! I am a chronic multi- tasker , which means I do a whole lot, but it is half-finished. Today, I will mak...

I have been working on cultivating a spirit of positivity. A "yes, of course!" mindset. I know a lot of books have been written on the topic of saying "NO", creating boundaries for yourself, respecting your limits, all that stuff, but have you ever thought of how you could improve your life, and the life of others by saying "Sure!"? It is not always easy, in fact it can be really hard. When your child looks at you at 9:30pm and says, "Mom can you sew my jockstrap tonight, it broke today at practice"--- meanwhile he has been home since 5:30, ate dinner, did homework, played a bit of video games, and it didn't come up until I was completely relaxed. Of course my gut reaction is to rant about how inconsiderate it is, and yes, I have been guilty of that rant more than once. What I aspire to do however, is to say, "sure honey" kiss him on the cheek goodnight, then remind him in the morning that it would be helpful to me if he prese...

Our Sunday night was spent preparing Valentines for school today. I love that my 10 year old still finds joy in that. My 4 year olds first words this morning, were...."but Mommy, we have to get more heart lollipops!", we ran out last night. I do believe the child lost sleep over that. We had a fantastic weekend. We celebrated my baby sister's "40 th " birthday. We had a great night out. Yesterday at our church we had a meeting about a wellness challenge we are engaging in. Kind of a "Pound for Pound" health & weight loss thing. The speakers were really knowledgeable and incredibly inspiring . I took away a really good tip. Of course I'll share it with you. Ok , he said, "You have 21 meals in a week. Make it your goal to do 18 of them right." (Meaning, mostly veg, avoiding bad fats, whole grains vs. processed, etc...) I like that. It is tangible, gives a little room for grace, and I feel like that is something I can ...

Michael started wrestling last night. He is 10, and a pretty big boy. We breed em' big here in the Rhodes household. He is about 5'3, and 150lbs. A heavyweight like his big brother William, who at 14, is 6'3'' and around 250lbs. I have been excited to see William being supportive, coaching him, helping him work out in preparation for wrestling. I do have a little incentive dangling, a 1/2 hour of video game time during the week, if he does the job with a smile on his face and doesn't torture his little brother. Even with the bribe involved, it is nice to see them having fun together. Jack has been working out too, he is the smallest in the bunch. He is about 5'6", and 150lbs. He is trying to bulk up for high school football. He prays nightly for his growth spurt to hit. It is tough being only 15 months younger than your older brother, but significantly different in size. He has a heart and passion as an athlete. He has always been the one wh...

Every woman has things in her life she is willing to pay for, and things she feels like she can and should do herself. My list is generally a little different than most women I think. My sister would tell you it is because I think I can do things better than other people, hee , hee ... she thinks I am a bit on the controlling side. I cut my own hair, do my own hair color, do my own facials, make jewelry, that sort of thing. I will admit, it is a rare occasion that I pay hundreds of dollars for a color and cut, and walk out feeling amazing. I am almost always disappointed in the result. I get a manicure & pedicure, and always regret the color choice- or see smudges. It just makes me mad to pay a lot of money for mediocre results. (I can get mediocre results myself!) One thing I definitely am willing to pay for, that I easily admit I am the worst at, is CLEANING MY HOUSE!! I really hate it. I love the calm and peace that comes with the clean, well organized home. I thri...

I am a little obsessed this week. My launch is Friday, and I am not so worried about that. What I am obsessing over, is doing things right. Stella & Dot basically hands you a roadmap for success. This plan is so well thought out, they give you every tool possible to build and sustain an amazing business. All you have to do, is have the right attitude, and take action. I am so excited at the prospect of building this business that I am obsessing over lists and details. Not uncommon, I think. Where I am trying to stretch myself more than ever is in the action department. Action will make the difference between whether I build a business, or just a fabulous jewelry wardrobe for my self (my husbands worst nightmare). I am trying to dedicate time to it and treat it like a job, but..... I still have my four year old here looking for lots of attention and mommy love. I pick up the phone, he starts crashing lego's, I try to compose emails, he is playing me a concert on the pi...

The countdown is on till my very first jewelry show. I sent out many evites , I posted the invitation on facebook , now I need to get on the phone... that is the hardest part. In general the response to stella & dot has been positive. My closest friends have been very supportive of my selling jewelry in general, but seem most excited about seeing my own designs. The Friday morning show idea however is not really working out. Most of the people I can count on to show up to something like this can't make it, so we'll see. I am wishing I had planned my launch on a Sunday, or maybe even a Friday night, hind sight is 20/20. I will forge on! I will call friends, and book shows. I may even plan another hostess preview at my home, at a more convenient time. Anything worth having requires a little elbow grease, right! If you are someone who would like to come take a look, but can't make it Friday morning, I hope you'll take a look at the Spring Line on my E Bou...

What is the obsession kids have with war games, and zombies? It must be another boy thing I can't relate to. They fight aliens, they fight soldiers, they fight dead people, dinosaurs, it is all fighting of some kind, they just change the costumes and atmospheres a bit. From adults to 4 year olds, boys who play video games all understand the lingo. To me, they might as well be speaking Japanese. They try though. They tell me in great detail, about their COD and Halo adventures. They can go on for a good ten minutes without even noticing that my eyes are glazed and I haven't a clue what they are talking about. It doesn't stop them from talking (...and talking..) though. This level, that level, blah, blah, blah. I try to get back at them by discussing the latest drama in Salem. (Days of our Lives) "Sooo... can you believe that EJ has Rafe holed up in the basement of the Dimera mansion???? That Kate, when will she ever stop trying to control her kids lives...."...

Facebook is such an amazing tool! I am sure if I take the time to think about the bad side of facebook, I could get plenty paranoid worrying about my privacy, and all of the ways I could be taken advantage of. Instead, I am amazed at how awesome it is to be able to reconnect with good friends long lost to me. Life has a way of twisting and turning, lives change, words/deeds are said & done, and people who mean the world to you kind of go down a separate path. I think of those friends often. They are mostly friends from college, and after college. Those friends I "went through the wars" with, as my husband phrases it. The crazy trips, parties, and youthful adventures. Just this week, I have reconnected with my old college roommate Holly, who I have been keeping an eye out for, for years, and who was a good friend to me all through college. I also found my after college best buddy Vicki. We spent a ton of time together over a brief period, like 2 years maybe. We ha...

I cannot stand waking up to the sound of an alarm clock. I especially detest the beeping kind, but I don't like the music ones either. I don't like to be woken up by someone whispering sweetly, "Vic, it's time to get up", I especially hated when my father would yell up the stairs in a military bellow.. "VIIIICCCKKKI wake up, VIIIIIICCCCKKKKI wake up!!!", I detested that. I told him over and over I could wake myself up, but he didn't want me to be late for work. After many years of waking up cranky, because of alarms (human and machine), I just decided one day to tell myself before bed what time I needed to wake by in the morning, and now I just get up at that time. Weird maybe, but effective. I wake up happy, and on time. It is great not waking up over and over to stare at the clock, to see how much more time I have to sleep. I get much more rest that way. There you are, I am my own, human alarm clock.

Ok , so in preparation for my Stella & Dot official launch party February 11 th , I sent out an evite . The general rule of thumb for this type of event is to invite 3 times the number of people that you hope will attend. I cast the net wide, inviting friends and acquaintances from all different facets of my life. Starting fresh in any business can be challenging, but home shows of any kind can be especially tough because in order to get to the place where you are meeting strangers, you have to start with friends. My hope for my launch is to get enough people there, that they can actually see what gorgeous stuff this is, and how easy, and fun getting together over coffee & jewels can be. Now I am not getting a resounding "YES, I can't wait" response, but that is ok . Doing a morning trunk show was a little risky given that so many of my friends have gone back to work, darned economy! I am encouraged however by the fact that I got an order today from my E- B...

Michael, age 10, is preparing to do his first comprehensive public speaking tomorrow. He is doing an expert report on the beginnings of animation. He has prepared a PowerPoint presentation, he has visual aides, he has practiced and practiced. The child has presence, impeccable timing, and good body language. I must say, I am impressed!!! It's not perfect though, we are talking about Michael. He is a special kid, with a fantastic sense of humor......but, he also has a complete lack of self awareness. He could be in front of that group with dirt on his face, snot running out of his nose, and spit slurring every word, and it wouldn't phase him a bit. He has that special brand of confidence that can't be duplicated. I love that about him, but find myself forever nagging him about his lack of neatness (that is kinder than the term I usually use). His brand of confidence is definitely something you are born with, a spiritual gift. I vow to guard it carefully, and n...