Spring is here, and the school year seems to be speeding up. We are making plans for Summer, and even Fall already. I am still trying to nail down where 2 of my children will go to school next year. This is also the season when I begin planning my own Fall schedule. Potential commitments are starting to present themselves. I have really enjoyed being home and focused on Nick, and on my spiritual growth this past two years. I am feeling called to get back out into the world more though. That is in part, what prompted me to start my jewelry business. I am struggling now with making sure I make wise decisions, and step carefully and prayerfully. I am an impulsive creature. I jump. Fear of change is not one of the things I struggle with. It is really easy for me to get myself over committed, over scheduled, and exhausted. My challenge is slowing down, being prayerful in decision making, and not running ahead of Gods plan for me. I have taken inventory of my gifts, I have identified areas in which I would like to grow, fears I want to face, and now God is leading me to move. He knows me better than anyone, so he has put wise friends in my path to slow me down, to make me seek him first, and to not move forward until I feel that he has opened the door for me. Thank goodness for wise friends. I had a chance to take a long walk with my husband this evening, and talk a bit about all of the things swirling around in my brain. He supports most anything I want to take on, and rarely makes himself an obstacle to my running ahead. Tonight, he agreed that he supports my moving forward with some new commitments- he just wants me to make sure that I am filling up my life with things that matter, not things that just take up time. Wise words from my best friend.
I enter this new week a little tired, but smiling. Why? No drama this weekend. We had sunshine, and sports, and cuddle time--- less the drama. Most families don't experience the intense level of emotions that the Rhodes clan does. Sure, they have the hectic life of families, perhaps some fighting, the normal mess--- perhaps a little teen hormone induced drama....but we have drama of a different kind in our house. The kind of drama caused by a brain that is shooting off crazy chemicals induced by years of trauma. When our son Victor is home, the whole world is a great big land mine. Saying the wrong thing, calling him out on behavior, or even suggesting that he not eat a 4th serving of ice cream can cause the the peace to recede, and for chaos to ensue. He is now in a boarding school for kids with emotional issues. As sad as it is that our family isn't all together--- I must admit that the peace in our household is a welcome blessing. We are learning more and more
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