The Sky is Blue

I am coming to the realization that my son, the one we are adopting this month is disabled. He came to us at age five. Now eight, his behaviors continue, and frustration mounts for me with every melt down, every backwards shirt, every grueling homework hour. The reality is, for whatever reason, emotionally or intellectually-- he is unable to behave like my other four children. My frustration, and lack of patience is a result of me operating on the premise that he can, but is choosing not to out of defiance. I have a long road ahead of me. Learning how to parent him patiently and with empathy as he screams and snarls at me is a big order. Lord help me to be the parent he needs, give me peace and patience overflowing. It is only through you that I am able to be what I must for our little guy. Amen

Fall is officially here Mamma's! Though here in SoCal, the 100+ temps make it difficult to start thinking of crisp apple cider, and turning leaves.....ahhhh, that makes me SO HOME SICK! I have lived in Southern California for 10 years now, and every Fall, I experience a yearning to be back East. Fall festivals, sweatshirts, cool brisk air, real football weather, I do so miss it.  But alas, it passes. The remainder of the year I am very content with my gorgeous SoCal weather. This is a new season for us.  My oldest has started college. He is still at home attending the local community college, so it is a weird hybrid state of adulthood.  "Mother, I am an adult....", "Mom, can you pick me up school supplies", "Mother, I can manage my own life?" "Hey Mom, whats for dinner??" It is strange, but I am grateful for the time with him.  I wasn't ready for him to leave yet.  I would have been a woman about it, had that been the outcome, but I am ...

To some this quote might sound like a call to perfectionism. I don't see a call to perfectionism, because I know that perfectionism is a futile quest.  I focus on the words "your good, your better, your best." Your good, better, best  is tempered with the boundaries you have put in place for yourself. It is sweetened with acceptance of yourself of others. It is made perfect, by operating under the peace that you will always   strive to make your good, better, and your better, best.   That is enough. That is just right actually. 

While it is still super hot, and we would like to be distracted by beach days, and amusement parks-- it is almost August-- and what that means around here is.......FOOTBALL SEASON! Everything changes during football season. An already insane  amount of laundry quadruples. I scramble looking for creative ways to feed my family with a crock pot. I turn into a fundraising focused, purple & black ( or red, white & blue - depending on the game) wearing sport head. All fashion sense is lost to yoga pants and team shirts. Family talk turns to plays, and strategies, and lifting schedules. Cleats in every size litter the house! It is madness! 4 players, 2 coaches, and one Team Manager (and Chapter Fundraiser) live here now-- the Rhodes' will return by Thanksgiving.  #motherofboys   #madhouse   #youthsports Add caption

Wow, so much has changed for me since Mother's day.  I can't begin to detail it all in one post.  I have to process how, and how much to even share.  Let's just say that while I have always been honest about my crazy life, I am not sure I was ever fully honest-- even with my self-- about the toll it was taking on me.  I have built a big, full, beautiful, life.  I have no regrets.  I over spent a bit on that big, beautiful life, and I am not talking about money.  I am talking about emotional energy, spirit, what ever words you use to describe the hootspah that keeps you showing up for your life every day.  I woke up one day realizing that I had messed things up a little. I was "checking out"on my life a bit. Missing out on the moments that matter.  Lucky for me, I know perfection is overrated, and while humility isn't alway pretty, it sure is liberating.

How was your Mother's Day friends? Were your children all clean and well behaved?  Did your home sparkle, and everything go the way you fantasized? I am just kidding.  It really isn't about that, and I think most of us have figured that out by now. There is no way to celebrate motherhood in one single day.  If you try, you will be very disappointed.  I had a fantastic Mother's Day this year.  My husband did everything in his power to make sure I relaxed and enjoyed my time however I wished.  We escaped from the kids for a little while and had some grown up time (we felt like teenagers sneaking out) My son's were as doting as they are capable of being, they are boys after all, they are used to being catered to--- my fault-- sorry future wives.  It was good. I love this family, with all the crazy, all the quirks, all the noise, and all of the fun, it is perfect. My oldest son, off to school in a few months The family playing Apples to Apples ...

Friends, I have no idea what has come over me, but I am ON FIRE with ideas for how to live clean!  I feel like the scales have been removed from my eyes or something! It is wild, and fun!  For a DIY girl, to discover that I can make my own, Vitamin C Serum Moisterizer Body butter & Scrubs Toner Shampoo Conditioner Toothpaste Deoderant Sunscreen Fragrance Lipstick/gloss/balm Concealer Mascara BB Cream Blush Bath Oils Medicines (antibiotic ointment, headache treatment, tummy releif, pain releif) Vapo rub Dishwasher detergent Home cleaning products Air fresheners The list goes on!!   And that I know every ingredient in them is safe for me, my husband, my kids, my dogs, my guests...... it is just the coolest thing ever!!! Now I fully understand that this would not be fun for everyone.  I am a crafty girl, and have always enjoyed this type of thing.  So turning my kitchen into a lab is not a big stretch.  My kids find it HILARIO...

I am a petite gal living among giants.  Tall people see the world through different eyes than short people.  They use shelves, I wouldn't dream of using.  They stack things up to the ceiling.  They get knocked in the head by light fixtures if the table gets moved.  Being a shortie, I need a little help sometimes.  See, our home has 18 foot ceilings.  The tall people in my house have no problem with that. Look where they put my cookbooks! I can't reach those. When ever I need to cook (which is always) I need help getting a cookbook, then if I need a little olive oil---- look where that is! (see the panty pic below) I get that we need to utilize our storage space, but it makes me feel like a helpless little thing when I can't reach anything myself. I whined to my husband about this, this morning, and being a solution oriented fellow he put a step stool in the kitchen, and one in the pantry. They help a little, I still have to really stretch to rea...

This post is going to make most of my East Coast friends chuckle. All of the tough, die-hard, boot wearing, snow blowing, ice melting, wood burning, friends, can have a good laugh at your West Coast friends. Yeah, we were out here enjoying our sunshine and warm weather while you all were wrangling with your generators and stock piling toilet paper and wine, so I guess we deserve it.  So the past few days we have gotten a little rain.  For most of us it is very welcome.  We love the sound of rain on the roof.  Our sad looking plants are drinking it up. The wildlife is very glad for the repreive from drought. But rain also brings a few comical-- and some not so comical consequences. Let me set the scene in my house for you this morning. -- Wow, honey it's really pouring outside! The boys don't know how to drive in this stuff. I don't want them out there with all of the maniacs, you have to drive them to school. -- Mom!! Do we have any umbrellas? ----  ummmm,...

My sister and I had dinner with our Aunt Linda last night.  I so wish we had thought to take a picture.  We haven't seen one another for many years.  We were all giggling trying to figure it out, it's been a long time.  Well, I am pretty sure she sleeps in a chryogenic chamber, because she looks exactly the same as she did last time I saw her and it has been at least 10 years.  Gorgeous.  It was so awesome, we are all three linked by people we love, who aren't with us any more, but still make us laugh, and cry, and tell funny stories.  It was one of those moments when I am reminded of how important it is to make time for those moments.  To take a deep breath, say STOP to the business of everyday life, clear the schedule, and make it work.  It is worth it.  It is fun to be around someone who remembers you as a kid.  Life is busy, life can be stressful, but it is so, so, good. Can you believe this woman is in her 60's!!! Aunt Lind...

I want to give back my SuperWoman crown.  Yes it is sparkly, and makes me feel fabulous, but it comes with a multitude of strings, and man, they are getting heavy.  Trying to be all things to all people is a race I can't win. It is a  Kobayashi Maru (cool Star Trek reference for fellow geek friends)   Heavy is the head who wears the crown they say, right? You wanna wear it, you get all that comes with it...... Exhaustion Frustration Fear Stress Expectations Resentment Oh the list could go on. So while I am a woman who loves shiny things, I hereby, resign my self appointed role as SuperWoman.  You can have the shiny crown back, cause I need a nap. Any other Mammas out there relate to this self appointed burden? You realise no one else is asking us to put that pretty crown on right? We do it to ourselves. Sparkle doing the things that REALLY bring you joy. Not the things you do because you feel obligated to do. Look at your list of things to do, and c...

Boo Hoo, I am not 16 anymore.  I don't really want to BE 16.  Being 46 is way more fun, it is just, ok, I'll say it. I sooooooo miss my younger skin.  If I could sip a vampire tonic to regain my youthful appearance, without losing my soul of course, I think I would do it.  I hate sun spots, I hate loss of elasticity, I hate fine lines, I hate knowing that deeper lines will come, hate it, hate it, hate it.  I always thought I would grow old gracefully.  It was easy to think that before it started happening.  Now all I want is for my face to look the way it is supposed to with as little effort as it is supposed to take. Ha!! Not to much to ask right? Why does wisdom have to come at such a high cost? Would it be so bad to be wise, and hot at the same time?? Really, if we were smart when we were young and skinny, maybe we wouldn't make so many stupid mistakes, right?? Tee hee. I am sure God has a reason, but the joke is lost on me. Lovely cr...

I am going to go out on a limb here, and I just might offend. If I do, sorry, feel free to not read this page in the future.  But you know, being challenged is good for the spirit every now and then.  I get my views challenged plenty, and believe it or not, I still have friends. I do not understand people who are rigid. Who are of the "it should always be how it has always been" frame of mind. How do you survive that way?  How is that good for you?  How does that help you or anyone or anything grow, or become better?  I believe in standards, in morals, in grounding. This all comes to mind because of a media frenzy in front of my childrens school today. Apparently there is a segment of the parent population that is very unhappy with our new principal.  I am aware of this. I have heard a little gossip, which I ignore.  I have seen a few facebook posts, which I don't pay any attention to. I have asked a few pointed questions of people I respect, and g...

Do you ever experience the sensation of having a super busy brain? I do. My mom and I were chatting the other day and I found myself at a strange loss for words. Normally I can prattle on about what is going on around here. I found myself feeling like we are crazy busy, but I couldn't put my finger on excactly what was keeping us so busy.  Just life I guess.  The constant humm of schedules for 7 people tends to keep things running at a pretty frenetic pace most of the time. School for all Rugby for Nick Appointments left and right for Victor Youth group for Michael After-school and weekend workouts for William and Jack Teen social lives College prep Post grad school applications/interviews and that is just the kids!! Jeff and I try to fit lives in there too! We are people with interests.  We are involved in things.  We have jobs.  Wow, I need a nap just writing about it.  No wonder I am tired all of the time. Wouldn't trade it. I am just noting ...

Ok, that sounds weird. 2014 sounds like something super sci-fi and spacey. Shouldn't our cars be flying like on the Jetsen's by now???  Well another year has passed, and while much has changed, much has stayed the same.  All of my children are FINALLY back at school, after a long winter break.  My husband and I are trying to get back in to our work-from-home groove. I am nurturing visions of organization, and windows of time to craft, dinners out with friends, and family vacations......my lovely visions bump into pesky reality thoughts now and then, but I can still push them into the background of my mind.  I still have a little vacation happy haze going on in my brain. A new year really does make me think of areas in my life that need attention. You can get a glimpse of those areas by looking at my very exciting fantasy life, lol. (crafting, organizing, dinners with friends, vacations)  I am not dreaming of building estates in Malibu, I just want to stop step...