Great Expectations...

I am finding that my brain, and my ability to act are incongruent. My brain never stops. I am constantly crunching numbers on the family budget, planning and plodding trying to make things work for everyone, coming up with interesting ideas I would like to pursue, topics I would like to learn more about, it never stops. Then I wake up in the morning, and before I can even finish my first cup of coffee-- life starts to happen. Nick (4) wants to cuddle (yeah!), as soon as we get comfy he wants milk, sit back down- he wants breakfast, then Michael wakes up and we start again, then Jack with questions about the locations of his shoes, gym clothes, etc.... then William, well to be honest he is pretty independent, but he does ask a whole lot of questions. At the end of the day, I have rarely moved forward on any of my grand ideas, my house is still mostly messy, and I am exhausted and ready for bed. If I am lucky I sleep, but more often-- my brain keeps on moving, egging me on to create mental lists of what I can tackle tomorrow. I wake up, make my coffee..... then here we go again.

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I would LOVE a cleaning fairy!

Every woman has things in her life she is willing to pay for, and things she feels like she can and should do herself. My list is generally a little different than most women I think. My sister would tell you it is because I think I can do things better than other people, hee , hee ... she thinks I am a bit on the controlling side. I cut my own hair, do my own hair color, do my own facials, make jewelry, that sort of thing. I will admit, it is a rare occasion that I pay hundreds of dollars for a color and cut, and walk out feeling amazing. I am almost always disappointed in the result. I get a manicure & pedicure, and always regret the color choice- or see smudges. It just makes me mad to pay a lot of money for mediocre results. (I can get mediocre results myself!) One thing I definitely am willing to pay for, that I easily admit I am the worst at, is CLEANING MY HOUSE!! I really hate it. I love the calm and peace that comes with the clean, well organized home. I thri...

To get something good, first we have to tolerate chaos.

I am swirling in chaos! Our little remodeling projects, ie: painting the boys rooms, have resulted in a whirl of mess, mess, mess. My husband has been diligently painting walls, repurposing furniture, meanwhile all of the clothing, shoes, toys, junk, furniture we are no longer using, etc... is lining the hallways and rooms of my house! We have tried to engage the boys in this project, but it has somehow eluded them that they have any responsibility for putting the house back together, so it it a painful exercise of command and whine. Today, we must put it back, we cannot start the week in madness. So my day, is going to be interesting. They need to help, a lot. I need to figure out how to motivate them to help, without them feeling like they are being tortured. Wish me luck, at 10:30, video games, and NFL TV go off, and cleaning commences. I'd better have another cup of coffee, and pray for the next half hour, I'm gonna need it.

New season of renewal & refinement

I am a girl with strong faith. Strong, blind, childlike faith. My atheist friends are bewildered by it. They cannot understand how such a smart woman would believe such "nonsense". I have no explanation other than, I just do. I preface this post with that statement because, you won't find me quoting scripture here. Though I would if I were more confident in my ability to do so competently. I do not have that confidence, never have. I am a believer. My belief has been nurtured by life experience, by answered prayers, by constant evidence that God cares about me. I see his hand in big things and small. I look to him for guidance and help in all things. I am not a Biblical scholar. I have always been somewhat insecure about that. I am bolstered up by the words of a Godly woman much wiser than I who assures me that "I am living my walk out loud". My faith is not in my knowledge of the scripture, but in the...

The Sky is Blue

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