I am finding that my brain, and my ability to act are incongruent. My brain never stops. I am constantly crunching numbers on the family budget, planning and plodding trying to make things work for everyone, coming up with interesting ideas I would like to pursue, topics I would like to learn more about, it never stops. Then I wake up in the morning, and before I can even finish my first cup of coffee-- life starts to happen. Nick (4) wants to cuddle (yeah!), as soon as we get comfy he wants milk, sit back down- he wants breakfast, then Michael wakes up and we start again, then Jack with questions about the locations of his shoes, gym clothes, etc.... then William, well to be honest he is pretty independent, but he does ask a whole lot of questions. At the end of the day, I have rarely moved forward on any of my grand ideas, my house is still mostly messy, and I am exhausted and ready for bed. If I am lucky I sleep, but more often-- my brain keeps on moving, egging me on to create mental lists of what I can tackle tomorrow. I wake up, make my coffee..... then here we go again.
I enter this new week a little tired, but smiling. Why? No drama this weekend. We had sunshine, and sports, and cuddle time--- less the drama. Most families don't experience the intense level of emotions that the Rhodes clan does. Sure, they have the hectic life of families, perhaps some fighting, the normal mess--- perhaps a little teen hormone induced drama....but we have drama of a different kind in our house. The kind of drama caused by a brain that is shooting off crazy chemicals induced by years of trauma. When our son Victor is home, the whole world is a great big land mine. Saying the wrong thing, calling him out on behavior, or even suggesting that he not eat a 4th serving of ice cream can cause the the peace to recede, and for chaos to ensue. He is now in a boarding school for kids with emotional issues. As sad as it is that our family isn't all together--- I must admit that the peace in our household is a welcome blessing. We are learning more and more
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