On Saturday my whole family was geared up to watch the Ravens vs. Steelers game. Excitement was high. I don't think Jeff or Jack (13) slept a wink Friday night. My sister and her husband were both so keyed up. My nephew Jordan (22), was so emotionally caught up in it that he was truly, and sincerely, pissed off when the Ravens lost the game. I watched the game with them, but in my own detached, non-emotional kind of way. It was a good game, and even I could understand how disappointing it was for them. The whole sports thing kind of eludes me. You would think with 4 boys I would have converted into a super fan by now. I try. I will occasionally, don the jersey or colors. I come to most of the games, and I am really trying to understand the game (football & hockey mostly). But to be absolutely honest, I have had to say in my most trained, loving, mom voice, "Of course I saw that! You were amazing!" without having a clue what happened more times than I can count. The black cloud of depression is still hanging over the house,2 days after the very sad Raven's loss. So sad ( she says sympathetically, while secretly wondering why everyone is so hung up over it....) I just don't get it.
I enter this new week a little tired, but smiling. Why? No drama this weekend. We had sunshine, and sports, and cuddle time--- less the drama. Most families don't experience the intense level of emotions that the Rhodes clan does. Sure, they have the hectic life of families, perhaps some fighting, the normal mess--- perhaps a little teen hormone induced drama....but we have drama of a different kind in our house. The kind of drama caused by a brain that is shooting off crazy chemicals induced by years of trauma. When our son Victor is home, the whole world is a great big land mine. Saying the wrong thing, calling him out on behavior, or even suggesting that he not eat a 4th serving of ice cream can cause the the peace to recede, and for chaos to ensue. He is now in a boarding school for kids with emotional issues. As sad as it is that our family isn't all together--- I must admit that the peace in our household is a welcome blessing. We are learning more and more
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