The Sky is Blue

So as most of you know our journey to the East coast got a bit tripped up in Oklahoma City. Half way through he journey I managed to slip on ice while walking Murphy the dog--- and busted up my leg. That changed everything. We both had a week off scheduled to unpack and get settled. That week off turned into a week of Dr. appointments, making our home handicap accessible, and my incredible husband doing everything around the house plus taking care of my every need. Not e xactly the plan. We are getting settled in, just much more slowly. I want to talk for a moment about things that are amazing. The fact that we are surrounded by the most incredible beauty in every direction is AMAZING! Hearing rain pound on the roof all night is AMAZING! Having a family who love me so much, and take such great care of me is AMAZING! Having a job that I can do with my leg propped up on a bed is AMAZING! Jeff Rhodes is AMAZING! Week two of WV life commences! I hope you are seeing blue s...

I am a girl with strong faith.  Strong, blind, childlike faith.  My atheist friends are bewildered by it.  They cannot understand how such a smart woman would believe such "nonsense".  I have no explanation other than, I just do. I preface this post with that statement because, you won't find me quoting scripture here.  Though I would if I were more confident in my ability to do so competently.  I do not have that confidence, never have.  I am a believer.  My belief has been nurtured by life experience, by answered prayers, by constant evidence that God cares about me.  I see his hand in big things and small. I look to him for guidance and help in all things.  I am not a Biblical scholar.  I have always been somewhat insecure about that.  I am bolstered up by the words of a Godly woman much wiser than I who assures me that "I am living my walk out loud".  My faith is not in my knowledge of the scripture, but in the...

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Farewell California -- Click link to see video #PCH #Viewpoint #ABF #Ravensfootball #ChatsworthLakeManor

The first few weeks of this new life chapter has been a bit different than I envisioned. Moving in and getting settled has been a much slower process, as I am unable to help-- at all. I unpack a few token boxes now and then to feel useful, but the burden has been on Jeff to get us settled. I am surrounded by incredible beauty, bird song, and lovely cool breezes-- no disappointment there. I enjoy them primarily from the inside of our home, sitting in my wheelchair, which I  won't deny is a bummer. I watch my son from my window each day as he runs up our country lane after getting off the school bus. He is happy, really happy. He has made friends, and is chatting each evening with them, he seems to enjoy school, and best of all he is getting face to face time with his grandparents each day. Jeff is in homeowner glory, breaking out power tools, fixing things, building things-- learning from my father in law--- spending daily time with his Mom, which is again, the best part of all o...

I enter this new week a little tired, but smiling.  Why? No drama this weekend.  We had sunshine, and sports, and cuddle time--- less the drama.  Most families don't experience the intense level of emotions that the Rhodes clan does. Sure, they have the hectic life of families, perhaps some fighting, the normal mess--- perhaps a little teen hormone induced drama....but we have drama of a different kind in our house.  The kind of drama caused by a brain that is shooting off crazy chemicals induced by years of trauma.  When our son Victor is home, the whole world is a great big land mine.  Saying the wrong thing, calling him out on behavior, or even suggesting that he not eat a 4th serving of ice cream can cause the the peace to recede, and for chaos to ensue. He is now in a boarding school for kids with emotional issues.  As sad as it is that our family isn't all together--- I must admit that the peace in our household is a welcome blessing. ...

This small phrase is pure wisdom.  A Wife and Mother's state of mind, is hugely influential in the peace and happiness enjoyed in a family.  Just ask my husband of 22 years, lol. When I am in a groove where I am enjoying creative endeavors, doing enjoyable volunteer work, contributing to the families financial bottom line, and feeling happy and healthy----- we all win. In a houseful of boys, I feel like I am providing my sons with an education on living with Women.  We are beautiful loving creatures--but I don't know a single woman I like who doesn't have a bit of crazy mixed in.  Seriously, do you?? Not to alarm my feminist friends, but hey-- it is at least partially hormones.  It is biology. It makes our emotions go whack.  Hormones can heighten our emotional sensitivity creating virtual land mines for those around us.  Don't kid yourself, it happens to you too. We are not always easy to live with.  The same emotions that make us sometimes v...

Not long ago,  I was a LOVER of fragrance.  My husband enjoyed jaunts to Nordstrom to choose new fragrances for me each year. I would scan websites to find my fave, discontinued fragrances. I found perfume delightful. One day, I was at a Women's Retreat with friends, and I was introduced to my friends Mom.  She has severe reactions to fragrance.  As I went to greet her with a big hug, she stepped back and said " You smell like a french Cathouse!"  I chuckled, mildly insulted, but more amused.  I though she was just eccentric.  My fragrance was expensive, and lovely,  it was part of my personality.  Ask anyone, lol. In an effort to be considerate, I would forgo the perfume when I knew I would see them.  I didn't want to cause my friends Mom discomfort, as her allergies are severe. I got to know my friends Mom in the upcoming months, and she made an effort to share the real dangers of fragrance with me.  She shared her story, sh...

In an effort to remove our blinders, lets take a challenge.  How many products do you use on your body every day?  I took the challenge, and I hit 21 products before my first cup of coffee.  I encourage you to do this yourself.  then take a look at the image below, to see how the products you are using are impacting your body.  Let's start the conversation. Add your results to the comments. #noway #seriously #ewwww #toxins #youmatter How many Products do you use each day? 

I have been on a journey of awareness over the last few years. I met with a friend of mine a while back to who shared information about the products that we use  every single day--- and the toxic ingredients they have in them. I am not just talking about cleaning products, and and the scary stuff you find in processed foods. I am talking about the products you use on your infants, your children, yourself. I thought diet soda, and Fast food were the primary threats--- we eat organic vegetables, we clean with essential oils, we even make our own toothpaste and deodorant in our home-- but still we are exposed to a slew of ingredients linked to cancer and a host of other diseases. I have learned through this Ah-Ha moment, to become a label reader. Labeling in America is not trustworthy. "Natural", does not mean safe. "Fat Free" does not mean it won't make you fat. "sugar-free" does not mean healthy. We cannot trust the large personal products companies, ...

On the way to school this morning my sons were chatting about it being the end of school.  Summer is the best, but wow, it is here already?  This summer will look a bit different for our family.  I work now, so no slow down for me-- though it will be nice not to have 3 drop offs before work.  My husband works from home, so he now has the joy of having everyone playing and laying about while he tries to work.  I am trying to convince Nick that camp is fun, but he isn't hearing it. Our two college age sons, have yet to secure employment for the summer, so their relaxing ways are already on hubby's nerves.  I am considering a low handed tactic of changing the WiFi password, and the Netflix password daily until the boys are gainfully employed.  Not nice, I know-- but I have already tried nice--- it's not working.  They are good humans, but the job thing is a point of contention. So if anyone is in need of big strong boys to help move, do work arou...

Lit tle humans defy explanation. Just how do genetics, parenting, socioeconomic factors, and the many unknowns--mix and bubble together to form a personality? Even kids born of the same parents, brought up in the same environment, are often very different. Mix in a little neglect, abuse, and mental illness, and the picture gets even more convoluted. Life is challenging enough under the best of circumstances, but this--- this, is something altogether more draining. I am the  first to share the wonderful story of how our family was made. A conscious decision to grow our family, bringing in little souls who might otherwise be lost. We now find ourselves in the position of trying to save a lost soul who has been given a family, a safe and loving home, has all of his needs met.... and is still so lost. We are watching him free fall. Despite every effort to get him the help he needs, he slides further and further out of reach. It is overwhelming for every person in his orbit. He...

So last week an acquaintance asked me about our adoption experience. I try to always make time and energy for these questions, even when they seem trite. You ne ver can tell when someone is just being nosy, and when they are pondering exploring adoption for themselves. Most questions revolve around risk, which makes sense. Risk of losing the child once you are attached, risk of them having serious behavior or development issues, both can happen. It isn't easy. There is risk involved. You have to be willing to gamble a little. People want to hear that it can be clean, and easy. Our story is multifaceted. We had a miracle adoption- clean, easy, our son brings us nothing but joy-- and we thank God every day for the blessing. Then we had a more complicated adoption. Our son is damaged. He is hurting. Unable to trust, unable to love. It is complicated, and painful, and consuming. Do we regret our decision? I would be lying if I didn't admit that some days we wonder what life would b...

Pink is a lovely color. It is cheerful, and happy. My little guy has always loved it. Try finding pink jeans and T's for boys-- not an easy task. Nick is not a n effeminate kid. He is an active, athletic, skinned knee, dirt magnet boy. He just loves pink. If he loved blue or green-- I guess that would be no problem-- but pink makes him a target. He likes pink athletic socks, his fave hat is a pink Superman hat. He loves pink jeans. He just got pink under eye goo for football. He rules the handball court, stomps kids much taller than him in basketball, and is a little phenomenon on the football field. All while wearing his favorite color, PINK. Now while he is tough on the athletic field, he is not a fighter. He talks his fair share of smack on the court, but he is not a mean kid. He is pretty sensitive. So when boys he has been friends with for years started calling him mean names, it really hurt. The kid who begs to stay after school to play called me and asked me to...

Weekends are wonderful. Old news right? Well, for those of us who have returned to the work force, after years of stay-at-home parenting- this is a renewed revelation. When you stay home, you are never really "off". Your days are filled with driving, volunteering, teaching, shopping, cleaning, sports/dance/ art, music lessons, appointments...etc. Weekends don't provide much of a breather. Summer is a nice break to routine, no school (for some), lazy mornings (sometimes), and  beach days (at least for coastal mammas). When you return to the workforce this changes a bit. Strangely, it changes in a good way, in my personal experience. Weekends are this beacon of light at the end of the week- to anticipate. I sleep late if I want. We eat out. We enjoy being home. It is as if God granted me a new lens through which to view my home life, to ease the transition of working again. Ahhhhh, it's Friday, pizza night, family movie. Ahhhh, it's Saturday, time for sports, ...

I remember a time when I was incredibly motivated to be successful at work.  I aspired to achieve the next rung in the ladder, then the next, seeking roles of increasing responsibility and prestige. That seems like a lifetime ago.  Life is simpler now.  My boundaries are no longer blurry. Work takes a back seat to family, my health, and many other things.  Don't get me wrong, I need to work-- for obvious reasons-- college kids, private school, big family life.  The difference is, it doesn't matter quite as much to me HOW I earn the money to support my life. I do not need a position befitting my experience, and education.  I have very clear cut priorities.  I don't want to spend hours in a car every day-- sitting in traffic.  I don't want to dress up everyday, some days I just need to be comfy. I cannot tolerate high stress levels at work.  If picking up my son from school because he doesn't feel well, is going to cause a big commotion at work...

Summer is a wonderful time if you have the luxury to stay home with your kids and enjoy the slower pace.  Lazy days, pool time, reading, outings, and spending time at the beach is good for the soul.  If you are a parent who keeps your kids home with you vs. sending them to camp--- there is also a dark side to the lazy days of Summer. I know many Moms who say loud and proud, "I can't wait till Summer!! Oh yeah! Only 3 more weeks!!, Oh no! It's over already! We need a few more weeks!!" Are you one of those? Do you say it with a straight face? Ok, maybe you are sincere.  Bully for you, you win the Mom medal. Those are NOT my people.  I love my kids, don't get me wrong, I really do.  I love reading time, and lego time, and swimming, and picnics at the beach-- as much as any other Mom.  Let's get real for a minute though.  We can't play down the other side of life with kids. The constant fighting The whining The meltdowns (yes one of our guys st...

I don't know about you, but for me, life is full of starts and stops.  My mind gets very targeted on a particular thing, and I am very focused, but I have difficulty maintaining that level of focus. Is this a form of Adult ADD?  There are many important things going on in life.  I can multi-task, in fact, I do this to a fault.  Finishing one thing well before moving on to the next is an area in which I am very weak. I probably shouldn't share this, it is pretty personal.  It just occurred to me that there are likely others facing the same challenge.  In true Victoria style, I will throw myself out there-- so that you know you are not alone in your imperfection, lol. Women are in the position of playing multiple roles at all times. - Caretakers - Income earners - Empathizer & friend - Lover - Disciplinarian - Volunteer - Chef - Housekeeper - Clothing purchasing and management - Loving and attentive parent - Tutor The list continues, but...

Blessings are overflowing around here, and I am both proud and hugely grateful.  Two of my sons leave for College in the Fall. They have both earned scholarships and will be College Athletes.  We could not be more proud of their efforts both in the classroom and on the field.  We have so many people to thank for this. First and foremost, our Father, who art in Heaven--- he led us every step of the way.  Opening doors, putting amazing people in our path, answering prayers.... He has been faithful, always. Dwayne Walker, family friend, and one of Jack's youth football coaches. He introduced us to Viewpoint School, which has been an incredible blessing. Chris Adamson, family friend, Head Football Coach at Viewpoint, and overall mentor and counselor. He has Coached both of our boys, been an incredible example of ethics, and responsible behavior. Over the years Chris has answered every text, email, and phone call that we ever made to him--- responding with hel...