Did you ever think that allowing yourself to appear weak in front of others could be a gift? I didn't. I thought the fact that I can get so emotional was definitely a weakness. I cry over commercials, I cry when I watch Oprah, I cry when I hear awesome music, and I definitely cry when I am going through a rough spot, and I am sharing it with someone. I met a really amazing woman last year, her name is Rita. I had a particularly rough year last year. Tough financial times, struggling with depression a little, but I was still plugging through. I saw Rita once a week (She was the leader of my Women's Bible Study group) , and she would call me once a week. She didn't know the details of my troubles, but she knew I was having a difficult time. Her sincerity, and warm hugs, never failed to make me cry. I would get all embarrassed. I told her that it was humiliating to me that I could not control my emotions. I shared with her that I at one time used prescription medication (anti-depressants) to help me manage these emotions. They would allow me to stay straight faced and calm, even under stress. I don't like feeling out of control. I chose to go off of that medication many years ago because even though I don't like to break down in front of others, I also don't like to be stoic. It is not me. If I am calm and cool, I want it to be a genuine peace I am feeling, not a drug induced one. One day when I was talking to Rita, she told me that my ability to expose my vulnerability was a gift that God had given me. She said that most people would look at me and think I had my act together all of the time, they might not see themselves as like me, because on the outside I am pretty buttoned up. By allowing myself to be vulnerable, to share my own struggles and weakness, I am showing others God's love. Talk about turning the typical "What is your weakness" interview question into a positive--- Rita rocks. I am not embarrassed by tears anymore. What weakness" do you have that could be used for God's purpose?
I am helping to prepare a baby shower for a young woman at our church. She is young, just 22. Thinking about her, and what the future may hold for her and her little family, got me to thinking about life at 22. Much has changed for me since I was 22. That was really a difficult time. I didn't realize at the time that it was difficult. I had graduated from college, was having a post college, pre-real life, super good time. I was bar tending, partying, picking up and traveling to far away places to party some more. I didn't really have much in the way of financial responsibility yet, and my parents were living in Egypt-- leaving me in charge of the house and my younger sister. It was an "out all night, sleep all day", kind of life. To be honest, I was setting a pretty poor example for my sister, who at the time was working full-time at a nursing home, and was far more responsible than I was. Looking back at that time, and even later, till about age 25, it make...
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