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I am thankful for.....

I haven't kept up this blog with any regularity since the fall, but I feel especially inspired to record what I am thankful for. The list is long, so I'll list the highlights. I am thankful for family. My husband, who loves me like no other man could, and whom I love more and more as the years pass. My children, who amaze me daily. Our parents, all of them, bless us so much, with unconditional love and support. Our siblings and nephews, who are a part of our day to day lives, we live life together, I couldn't imagine better friends. Our extended families, who we don't see often, but we know love and support us, as we do them. I am thankful for our home, our jobs, creative opportunities, abundance, HEALTH, good teachers for our sons, good coaches who care about our sons well being and character. Pastors, church leaders and friends in our church community, who love us, season after season, year after year. Our church family has seen us through some of the most joyous...

Zip it Vic...I'm tryin' to talk to you here....

I have been hearing God speak to me in stereo lately. I borrow that phrase from a friend, because it fits my situation perfectly. Now before you start worrying that I am losing my cookies, let me explain. I had a week this summer where I was feeling good, energetic, taking on the world. I was excited to be teaching crafts in Vacation Bible school, I was excited at some things going really well in my life, and I was singing God's praises at the top of my lungs. Within that week, I got a severe burn, like six inches long on my upper arm, (I didn't go to the Dr. of course, because it didn't really hurt, ha ha, like that is a good thing, lesson learned), I then almost landed myself in the hospital with an infection from said burn, and then....I got bit (really hard) by a nasty little pooch at a jewelry show I was doing. The dog bite turned me black, blue, purple, & green about the size of a toddler size basketball. Nasty stuff. These events made me feel like someone...

Spider crafts & drivers permits.....

I am having a deja vu moment. I just met with my son's kindergarten teacher to begin planning for the class Halloween party. It feels strange. It has been a while since I had a Kindergartner . Planning extra simple crafts, and healthy snacks. Gone are the days of cupcakes and sacks of candy. Thankfully Nick's teacher is very easy going, and really wants it to be fun. He also goes to a school that hasn't outlawed dressing up & marching around school in a Halloween parade. Yeahh ! I am so thankful I get to do that with him. My older sons school has abolished all that good old fashioned fun. Ba hum bug. -- doesn't really apply to Halloween, but you get my meaning. So while I am planning for High School Homecoming events and drivers permits with my big guys, I am planning for spider crafts, and pin the nose on the pumpkin with the little ones. The Rhodes life is pretty cool. I am right where I am meant to be.

Hearing the quiet voice....

I never cease to be amazed at the work God still has to do in me. He is teaching me some cool things right now. I am finding that the gifts he has given me, gifts of confidence, gifts of communication, gifts of empathy, he wants me to be using them in full-- in some parts of my life. In other parts of my life, he is forcing me into situations where I must exercise my weaker muscles, like patience, silence, and humility. If you know me, you know that silence is not one of my natural abilities..... my optimism, and articulation of ideas, often runs ahead of thinking things through in detail, analyzing pro's & cons, etc... I am a woman who has leaned heavily on my keen intuition for 44 years. While I still trust my gut, I am learning that I need to temper it with prayer, patience, and council. This weekend I went away on a Women's Retreat with my church. I have never been to one. I have always been to busy, or too broke, to make it work. This year I decided to make t...

End of September thoughts.....

I am experiencing a whole array of new experiences lately. First, the four schools business, I don't want to beat this dead horse, but seriously it is something interesting. For the first time in my life as a parent, I have become highly aware of fairness. I never thought fairness was something worth losing sleep over. I mean, life isn't fair, right? When you have four children and limited resources, fairness is pie in the sky. Someone is always going to be ahead of the others, the key is to make sure it isn't the same kid every time. With the disparity in school environments, I find myself worrying myself sick about my eldest. He is smart, but lazy, athletically gifted, but no fire in his belly. He is at a huge public high school, and I am worried. I am also concerned about my 11 year old, the reasons, the same, with the exception of the school environment. He is in a pretty good school environment, but again, no fire in his belly, and he has to be forced to do...

Nick goes to big boy school

I haven't written about Nick's first day of Kindergarten yet. I was expecting the worst, after all we have a bad track record. William, then Jack, then Michael, all had super rough starts. Nick doesn't like to be separated from me period, so I thought we'd have a full on melt down happening on day one at least. Well, Nick is not the predictable sort. He did get a little nervous. His teacher let the parents hang around a little longer than I would have liked. It was just at the point that some of the kids were starting to get panicky that she dismissed us. Two minutes later, and Nick would have lost it I think. He is doing great. It is a long day, 8-2:23. He is having fun, making friends, learning how to play nicely with others. He can already write his name, and hold his pencil perfectly (better than William does, at age 15). He is a sponge. I am delighted at his progress, and soooo proud of him. He is our last baby angel to leave the safety of Mom & Dad...

Mid September thoughts

It has been quite some time since I have taken the time to update this blog. Life has swirled into a heightened sense of fullness. Everyone is finally back in school. We had a staggered , and slow start, four kids, four schools. I believe our family is like some weird educational experiment. We have one in a charter school, one in a private school, one in the LVUSD school district, and one in the LAUSD school district. The differences are glaring. Some good, some bad, some just different. It is a challenge keeping all of the balls in the air with this set up. I reminisce back to the one year when I had three kids all in the same school..... those were the days. Life is good. I am consulting part-time, I'd love to be a little busier, but it is good for now. I have done nothing creative for months. No scrapbooking , no jewelry making, no nothing. I am trying to stay involved at each school. I am hopeful that once I get in a good groove, I can catch up on my scrapbook alb...

Sunday, Sunday

What a beautiful day. Gorgeous weather. Today our church held a beach baptism in Malibu. What a great way to get baptised. We had a nice size group of people there. We heard testimony, we prayed, and then we dunked in the cold... cold.... pacific ocean. I have yet to be baptised as an adult. I feel the call, I know I need to walk forward in obedience, but..... I am waiting for ABF to schedule a Hot Tub baptism. I am happy to host. It is just soooo cold in the ocean, even in August. It was a really nice day though. I came home and was completely toast. I slept for 2 hours. My incredible husband made dinner, baked brownies for his father / son bowling league, then he and Michael went off to kick butt at AMF . Now I am doing a little work in preparation for the week. I am trying to figure out my new laptop. It is a PC, and I haven't used anything but MAC for 10 years so I am a little rusty. It is so funny when a 10 year old has to explain why my window went all won...

Just an update....

I must apologize for not posting nearly as often as I should. Summer has been tough, time wise, and to be honest I haven't been very inspired by any particular topic. Fall is officially here. My oldest son just finished his first week of school. My second oldest just had his first high school football scrimmage today. So cool! I still have two at home, but my 5 th grader starts on Wednesday. Fall brings a ton of activity. It should be interesting to see how Jeffrey and I manage four boys, four schools, with him working (like crazy), and me working (part-time). It may take some strategy to make sure everyone gets where they need to be, and gets picked up on time. I am a little nervous about getting back in to the classroom. (I am facilitating in a corporate environment). I need to hit the books next week to make sure I know my content inside and out. To be honest, I am more concerned about wardrobe. Silly, right? I have lived in tank tops and yoga pants, with an assortm...

Barring busyness....

Fall is creeping up, and life will get very full very fast. I remember in the spring contemplating commitments for this fall. Now it is almost here, and while I didn't over commit in the Spring, I must admit, I am looking at a very busy Autumn. What is new right? The good news is, I feel like it is filling up with the right kind of things. It is easy to just be busy-- that is a state I do not enjoy. Busy, means stress. Busy means, harried. I want my life to be full, but not busy. I will volunteer at school in meaningful ways with controlled time commitments. I will not spend every minute on the campus's, sitting in dreadfully long meetings. I will volunteer at church in ways that will enrich my relationships, and allow me to use my gifts. I will not over commit , and allow myself to feel harried. I will seek out and work on professional projects that will help me to expand/update my marketable skills, and that provide a good return for the time invested. I will no...

I'll take my crazy house over a quiet house, ANY DAY!

It is starting to hit me that life is about to change. My youngest son is going off to kindergarten. He has been with me all day, everyday, since he was born. In fact, when I went on my trip to Seattle a few weeks ago, that was the first time we had ever been separated for more than like one night. He gets more independent with each passing day. He says things that sound so grown up. When my older guys were away this summer, I really missed them. Admittedly the quiet was nice for a day or two, but after that, it was no fun for me. You would think that after years and years in this crazy world of boys, that I would enjoy the break. It makes me a little concerned about how I am going to handle change over the next 10 years. I am facing two boys going off to college, or military, or whatever they chose, in the next few years. My baby Michael going off to Middle school in a year. I hope I can handle it. The good news is, I am back to work. I will start to rebuild my identit...

Push!!! It starts the day we give birth, and never ends...

Is it wrong to force a child to do what you know is good for them? I have a child who doesn't like food. I generally go with the flow, he is not starving, and he easily drinks 1/2 gal of milk a day....but one meal a day, I monitor, and make sure he eats everything on his plate. He hates that. I have another guy who just isn't physical. He loves to swim, but outside of that, he doesn't move voluntarily. If I say, "Go outside and play!", I will find him laying in the grass playing some "make up a story game" with his friends/brothers. He needs to be pushed to play sports, dragged to the playground, it is sooooo frustrating. My oldest has had to be forced to do every single thing he loves in his life. Confusing I know. I'll explain. He didn't want to play football in high school. We gave him no choice, he had to try-out. Much to his dismay (and pride) he made the team. He started freshmen year at a new high school (not where his friends f...

Stitch in time....

It is strange how the perception others have of you is molded by a stitch in time. For example, my sons, they know me as Mom. I am the one who kisses boo boos, changes diapers, cooks, you know the drill. It is hard for them to imagine me in any other role. I am venturing back into the world of the working, and I was trying to explain the project I am working on to my son Jack. I am working with highly educated and experienced engineers (aerospace), to help them with leadership and communication skills. Jack looks at me completely confused and says..." So YOU are teaching Rocket Scientists???" like it was so beyond his comprehension that I could teach them anything. I quickly explained that yes, rocket science is out of my league....however, I do know a thing or two about how to communicate with people. It is hard for my kids to imagine me in any other role than Mom, the crafty lady, who helps at school, helps with their sports teams etc.... I am feeling like my going...

Sports, sports and more sports.....life with boys

I am getting excited about the prospect of Fall sports if you can believe that. My big guy is heading into his second year of wrestling, he will be wrestling Varsity this year. With some hard work, and dedication he could be a city champion. Fortunately he has good friends who will push him to his limits. Jack is a freshman at Viewpoint this year, and he lives and breathes football. I am excited to watch him play, that kid is the nicest kid you'll ever meet in life, but he is MEAN on the field. Michael is undecided, so he'll likely play hockey this Fall, then wrestle in the winter. Our littlest guy, will play his first season of Roller Rookies (hockey), he is ready, believe me. This kid has been on hockey skates since he was like 18 months old, no kidding. So it should be a fun season. Who knew I'd end up the ultimate cheerleader??? All seasons, all sports, no time off for this gal. I am really proud of the boys. Hopefully their academic achievements this year w...

Summer Memories to treasure

The countdown is on till my boys (three oldest) come home from their East Coast adventure. Who knew I would miss them soooo much. One week I was gone on business, that one went fast. This week is ticking by at the pace of a snail. My house is quiet, no chaos, groceries are lasting forever, it is sooooo strange. Who knew a gallon of milk could last for 4 days????? My youngest has watched "Hairspray" about a thousand times. "Good Morning Baltimore" is stuck in my head, having heard it 5000 times. It is no fun, having the older boys gone. They are enjoying good times with family, memories with Grandma & cousins, and Aunts & Uncles, but Nick, Jeff and I are truly missing them. My hope is that my in-laws are enjoying the time with all of them. It is a big undertaking having four boys, 24x7. My husband is a little worried about his Mom handling all of those boys. We feel blessed that she is willing and able to take on a grandson extravaganza like this. H...

Checking in....

Hey there friends. Hope your summer is going well. I see some of my friends have begun their countdown till school starts. My boys have been so busy this summer that I feel like summer has barely begun. Yet, in just two weeks, my oldest heads back to school. The rest are staggered. That happens when you have four children in four different schools, tee hee. I had a great trip to Seattle. I got back in the groove, and much to my pleasant surprise, it was like riding a bike. I think I will enjoy being back to work, and the pace, will work out well for me too. I am not giving up my jewelry business. In fact I may even do a few shows around the holidays, as it looks like my consulting schedule will be a little slow in December. Gods timing has proven itself perfect, once again, in my life. He has a much better handle on what is good for me and my family, than I do myself, that is for sure. Enjoy the rest of summer. I am counting down the days until my boys come home. They hav...

Forging on, and trying not to hurt myself

When things start to get cooking around here, it makes for a hectic, busy, life. This is my first summer with two high schoolers , and their schedules alone fill up my schedule fast. Then there is all of the stuff I try to squeeze in over the summer, trips to the dentist, physicals, the eye doctor. The latest is trying to get three sons ready to go back east for two weeks, add to that the fact that I leave for a week long business trip the day before the boys leave. Now that is the good news! I have been looking for the perfect role for a while now, I just may have found it. Going back to my Training & Consulting business roots, I'll be teaching classes as a consultant on a 6 month contract. Meanwhile, while life seems to be headed in the right direction. I found work, My kids are happy, healthy, and busy. I was able to volunteer at Vacation Bible School. I am managing to make time for myself to stay grounded. Guess what starts to happen???? I am a walking injury. I bur...

Love is HUGE!

I got to visit with a friend of mine last night. She is a Mom of one awesome 15 year old. He has been friends with my oldest since third grade. She has taken in 3 little foster babies. They are brothers, ages 4, 3 and 20 months. Wow, what an undertaking, right?? Three kids under the age of five, presto, all at once. They didn't come with much in the way of belongings. God is good, though, and the blessings have been flowing their way. What these guys need most is love, limits, and security. The clothing, and toys, are a blessing, and to the boys, I am sure it is almost overwhelming to go from having nothing, to having so much. How scary it must be for these little ones, shifted from home to home, from care giver, to care giver. How confusing. When you say, we are going home, they are still confused about what that means. Going to McDonald's even has a confusing connotation, because they associate it with a visit from their birth parents. So much to process. Love...

Perfection is overrated

Perfection is overrated. It is the impossible brass ring, that keeps women running in circles. It keeps us critical of our bodies and faces. It keeps us from opening our homes to friends and family (when things aren't just so). I believe the quest for perfection is a tool of the evil one, to keep women (especially) off balance, unsure of themselves, weak. After all, if you were confident in your own beauty, felt good about your home, making you hospitable to all, if you felt good in your clothing, confident of your parenting skills...... what could stop you from being all that He created you to be? What would stop you from trying new things, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, what would stop you from growing into someone influential, someone who makes a huge difference in the world. Nothing would. Ah ha.... so who wins if you chase your tail trying to look like the hot ( photoshopped ) women in the magazines? Who wins if you constantly compare yourself to women you ...

Catchin' Up!

Hello friends. I must apologize to those of you who actually take the time out of your day to read my silly blog. Summer has taken over my house, and finding quiet time to write has been challenging. I have all four boys home, plus tons of friends over, cousin matthew, wet towels everywhere, messes galore, dogs dragging wet muddy paws, the whole deal. We are in full swing. I cannot keep food in this house, the boys and their friends, are eating machines. I came home the other day to see William and his friends munching on raw blocks of ramen soup. What???? Don't judge it till you try it, they said. I am working with my church's Vacation Bible School team this week. I get to work with the littlest ones doing crafts. It is so fun. I get to work with my Nick, which I love. Two of my guys are suffering with the nastiest ear infections we have ever had in this house. Serious pain, and my guys have pretty high pain tolerances, they are not complainers. Not so fun. Today is my b...

Wow, who knew He would do that for me?

Do you walk around under the illusion that you are in charge? I did. For years and years, I was determined to be the architect of my life. I decided what I would do, and when I would do it, and was determined to see things turn out a certain way. How naive was that??? I thought that the choices that I was making were making me independent, and smart, and worldly. That was back when I thought being called "worldly", was a compliment. Wow, has life changed. God gave me a few subtle course corrections, then a few more less than subtle swats on the nose, until I finally got it. I am not in charge. I never was. He let me go down my crazy path, let me mess up, and thankfully brought me back to him in his own perfect timing. I am so very grateful for the way he has put people in my life to guide me toward Him at just the right time. How He knows my heart, and leads me. How He leads me to just the right passage of scripture, when I need guidance or assurance. It is amazin...

Mommy Kryptonite

I consider myself a pretty hands on Mom, but let me tell you, I have a " kryptonite "--- it is throw up! I love my baby boys, and I will do most anything, to make sure they are happy & healthy. When gastro intestinal nightmares hit my house, I want to go running for the hills. My poor baby Nick started feeling crummy yesterday, and it got even worse today. I feel so bad for the little guy, he is miserable. It is so scary to not be able to control that crazy Run to the bathroom business. Shamefully, as I am chasing him to the bathroom, all I can think of is RUN!!!! PLEASE MAKE IT TO THE TOILET!!!!! My poor husband is trying to teach a webcast class in his office, he hears wretching , then me, saying OH my..... this is sooooo.....disgusting.....blech...gag... choke. I lose all composure at the sight/smell of puke. So sad, I know. My compassion does come back eventually, but it takes me a few minutes. That my friends, is my Mommy confession for the day.

Lazy days of summer....

What does summer mean to you? I imagine for Mom's who work, it can be a stressful season, trying to keep everyone busy, happy, and trying to get to work on time all the while. For many families, camp is the solution. For the Rhodes clan, is means a slower pace, camp outs in the back yard, smores in the fire pit , and friends over almost every day. It means never being able to find a dry towel too, the only down side to having a pool full of kids. I have been blessed with years and years of summers with my kids. Our summers are not full of amusement parks, fancy vacations, and movies every other day, but I think when my kids are grown, they will appreciate the experiences they have had, without all of that stuff. I have really fond memories of summers as a kid, and they were much the same. I remember sleepovers, camp outs , small town carnivals, lounging by the pool, and my favorite part....crabs. My birthday is coming up, and every year since we moved west, all I can think ...

Fill up your tank...

Good morning friends. Summer is upon us, that is for sure. How is got here so quick, I'll never understand, but I am thankful just the same. It is 4th of July weekend, my oldest son is turning 15, the sun is shining, and life is good. Praise God for that. Yesterday was a good day. I took my sons to Zuma Beach. We hung out with friends. I got in some awesome much needed Mommy fellowship time. My tank has been running a little empty lately. I would encourage all of you to be aware of your own tanks this summer. Life takes over, schedules can overwhelm, and if you don't watch yourself closely, you can end up exhausted, cranky, and emotionally bankrupt. I know you know what I am talking about. Keep an eye on yourself. A very good friend reminded me the other day, just how important it is to stay connected to the things that keep me feeling spiritually filled up. To not deny myself that time. In two days time, that reminder, that awareness, has made such a difference i...

Smiles everyone, smiles!

Do you ever wonder what makes some people friendly and cheerful, and some people dour, and cranky? I do. I am sure there are many reasons behind it, and a ton of psychology that I am unqualified to interpret. As my husband recently pointed out to me, I definitely have a positive bias toward friendly, outgoing people. I attribute positive characteristics to people who smile, and make conversation. When people are quiet, unsmiling, or cranky, I assume not so positive things. Time normally uncovers a persons true character, and often my first impression proves wrong. Quietness can be shyness, or nervousness. The appearance of disinterest, or negativity, can really be insecurity. It is just a little harder to be warm and fuzzy, with someone who makes you work so hard for it. It is exhausting. People are worth the effort, so I'll keep smiling, and trying to make eye contact, whether they smile back or not. It is not my job to change anyone, I am just supposed to love them the...

New Beginnings

For everything there is a season, right? My seasons are feeling a little convoluted. My older sons have truly reached the age of independence. They have lives of their own, they have schedules and commitments. At the same time, I have little ones, still looking for me to be the entertainment director. It is making for an interesting summer. Trying to make plans for the little ones, around drop offs & pick ups for the older ones is challenging. My oldest nephew graduates from college today. I couldn't be more pleased for him. He has been living a pretty adult life for a while now. He chose the path less traveled, (coming to LA, and taking on a lot of financial responsibility, rather than enjoying dorm life, on scholarship back east), and I am so proud of him. A little worried too, I must admit. Those first few years of adulthood, with a job, and no real responsibilities (no family to take care of), can be filled with excess and temptations to live not so smartly. I r...

Family

I know everyone has different views of what family means to them. For some, it is the blood connection that is unbreakable. For others, who perhaps haven't been blessed with very good blood relative relationships, it is friends that make up a family. I grew up in a generation where it was not uncommon to have divorced parents. My own parents were divorced when I was pretty young, and my husbands parents also divorced when he was in college. The result of those divorces, was like the splitting of an atom-- where two people separate, remarry, combine families, and so on, and so on. We are fortunate, as our parents have ended up happy, and we have a huge, loving, and relatively close family. All of this comes to mind, as my oldest nephew is preparing to graduate from college this weekend. His brother, and his mother are in town for the festivities. His father is remarried to my sister. It feels like no time has passed. We are all just as comfortable together, maybe even more...

Let's start this morning fresh.

Worry is a sin I struggle with every single day. If you allow yourself to, you can find things to worry about without even trying. We struggle a bit keeping up with the financial commitments of a large family living in LA with one income, there is always something that can keep me up at night there. People we love are struggling with some pretty serious health issues. People we care about get in senseless accidents with serious consequences. Life just keeps on happening. Now don't get me wrong, mixed in with the tough stuff there are amazing blessings being poured out. Beautiful children, graduations, fun holidays, every day joy, those blessings come daily, and I am incredibly grateful for each and every one of them. I would just love it if I could get a strong handle on managing worry. I know it doesn't do anything positive. When I wake worried before the day even starts, that sets the day up for stress. That is no good. So, before my kids wake up, before the hustl...

Welcome Summer!

Happy Summer everyone! I am so glad to have all of my boys home for the summer. Yeahhhhh ! We started summer off with a great weekend celebrating my brother-in-laws birthday, and Father's Day. Now we are off running. Two of my boys leave for camp this week, and as usual I have left the details to the last minute. (That procrastination habit gets me every time!) At least the weather is gorgeous, which inspires me to move and get things done. Clouds make me tired. We are picking up our pup Murphy today too. He has been on an extended stay with his Foster Mom. We decided the chaos of my household wasn't conducive to his healing. (he got an infection after being fixed, not pretty) The boys are looking forward to seeing him, they are afraid he won't love us anymore. This pup is pretty lucky, he has two families who love him and want the best for him. I have details and things to do swirling through my brain, doesn't make for very interesting reading, so I'll ...

A blink in time...

We celebrated our son's 8 th grade graduation last night. It was a nice ceremony, mercifully paced, and thankfully not too hot. It is a lot of pomp and circumstance for a middle school graduation. While I am always happy to celebrate a child's accomplishments, I don't really agree with all of the hullaballoo over pre -school, elementary, and middle school graduations. In my humble opinion, it isn't such a big deal. Many disagree with me, I know, I get that I am in the minority on this one. I must admit however, that I found myself overwhelmed with emotion yesterday, and it caught me totally off guard. It didn't happen at the graduation ceremony, but when I picked Jack up at school. It occurred to me, as I watched him walk down the sidewalk, saying goodbye to friends, that this was the last time I would pick any of my children up on the curb of AC Stelle Middle School. For some reason, that realization made me emotional. Even today when I think about hi...

Patience and faith, now that can be a tough order

I am an impulsive woman, no doubt about that. I have learned over the years to slow myself down, a little at least. I try to think on something, to detail lists of pro's & con's, to run it past my husband, to seek council from wise friends, to pray. Notice I mentioned pray last. I list it last because I would be lying if I didn't confess that I run far, far, ahead of God on most decisions. I have been living under the misconception that I know what is best for me, that I am a smart woman, that I can trust my gut, that I don't need God to intercede in my decision making process. The problem is, that last part, the part where I decide if God intercedes or not... yeah, well, it doesn't work that way. God does as God will. He decides what will work in my life, and what will not. If my chosen path is wrong, it will work, or it won't, but I am not the one who decides which way things will go. Sooooo , it doesn't much matter how possible or impossible ...

Did you know.... Father's Day is Sunday!!!!

Ok, am I the only dork that didn't realise that this coming Sunday is Father's Day???? Thank goodness for our "Mommy & Me" class, (where the craft was, of course a Father's Day gift), or I would be in super duper trouble. It's not my husband I am worried about, God bless him, all he wants is a little peace and quiet, a beer, a good meal, and a guaranteed nap. It is my own Dad, and Father's In-Law I am worried about! Good thing it is only Tuesday or I wouldn't have had a shot at taking care of them on time. (East coast, and AZ) Well I was saved by Mommy & Me. Close call. All is good in the Rhodes abode. If you have been following my "oh no, we may have to move!" drama, I am in a calm, what will be will be, frame of mind. We have a week full of graduations, celebrations, and camp preparations. Next week, we may even hit the beach. Life is good. I am super psyched about this whole couponing thing though, no kidding. If I run in...

Vic's got a new vice.....

I just finished an awesome tutoring session on extreme couponing . It is really cool. When you see how much you can save, It really makes you feel foolish for ever having spent full price-- for anything! Things that up your budget like hair products, razors, skin care products, ... apparently those are the items that we can get for free, or super inexpensive. My friend Amber shared a few key tricks that make the whole venture a little less intimidating. Don't get me wrong, it is work. Much like hitting the thrift stores on the right days to get awesome designer deals, it is worth it. I also like the idea of stocking up on things a bit, not out of control stocking up, but a bit extra in the pantry. There is nothing like finding out your son is out of deodorant by way of a super smelly hug. Oh, yeah Mom, I've been out of deodorant for like three weeks----- WHAT!!! Or the classic running out of toilet paper at 9 o'clock at night. Hopefully stocking up smartly will h...

Enjoying the sweet short moments of childhood...

We are in the home stretch! School is officially over for my younger two sons on Thursday! Yeahh!! This has been an interesting weekend. We have spent a lot of time caring for our poor pooch Murphy. His incision got infected, he managed to tear open his stitches, so he will be sporting a super huge cone for weeks to come, as well as needing full on nursing care till it heals. The challenge is, he feels fine, and is running around at top speed, getting stuck and banging things with that super size cone. This poor little guy has had one trouble after the other since he was born. So this week holds lots of end of year festivities. We have field day today, the boys are having a little swim party on Thursday, and they have a birthday party on Friday, should make for a fun week. All of the every day details of life have been filling up an awful lot of time. My focus this week is to really focus my brain and heart on the important things. It is hard to do when life feels so busy. I...

Switching gears, from diapers to conference calls....

Prepping your body and brain to go back out in to the work force is not an easy thing. I have decided to start looking (for projects, contracts, and last resort- a full time job) , mostly because a few very interesting opportunities have popped up. It is time to get that resume, and bio in shape. I need to be ready to go just in case anyone is actually, seriously interested. I LOVE the idea of what another income could do for my family. I am a little concerned about my ability to hang with the big boys of Corporate America again. Is it like riding a bike? Will my skills re-emerge on demand? What the heck to people wear to jobs these days??? My Mom uniform of Yoga pants, flip flops, and tank tops might need a little freshening up. My "I'm growing my hair out" perma ponytail, might have to go too. I know many a friend who is contemplating the same thing. Moms who have been volunteering, and leading brownie troops for more years than they ever worked are considering ...

Letting go, I can't control this....

My poor puppy got fixed on Monday. Despite the cone of shame he is wearing, he still managed to chew his stitches out. My husband had high hopes for the change in temperament that he hoped would accompany the loss of his gonads. I think he thought Murphy would come home, and be all calm and cuddly. No more running around, digging, eating shoes, and the like. No such luck love. He is our same energetic, dare I say, hyper, little guy. I am just praying that he heals up ok , and that he doesn't get an infection. He just won't leave his nether region alone. This has been a crazy week. Well emotionally crazy anyway. It is surreal seeing a "For Sale" sign up in your yard, when that is the last thing you want. I know I am not the first person to experience the loss of a home. I also realise that my situation is not the same as those who are losing their homes due to foreclosure , I really feel for folks who have experienced that nightmare. Just the same, co...

Couponing goes EXTREME

I am a frugal shopper. I have always been cheap (as in not loving to pay full price, not the other kind of cheap....:). But I have never really tried to get the most out of the common coupon. I have certainly gone through phases where I clipped and filed them, but they just kind of built up my my folder, and expired. Using them is where I get hung up. It is hard enough to get through a store with a toddler, and at least one other child with me, without adding to the madness by cruising the aisles really slow, so I can match up coupons with products. Lately, you see all of these women (some of them friends) singing the praises of shopping at super discounts, or even getting items for free by combining manufacturers coupons with a stores weekly specials. I am a little intimidated by the whole thing. It stretches my organizational, and attention to detail skills to their absolute limit. Clipping, organizing, going from store to store, those are all things that go against my gra...

Wish we could hang out, have a beer, and tell silly stories

I was catching up with one of my oldest friends this morning. (via facebook chat, that in itself is hilarious to me). We were talking about our kids. One of her daughters has had some very serious health issues this year, and it has been a really scary time for them. I am grateful, that health hasn't been a challenge we have been faced with. We were comparing the personalities of our kids. She has three daughters and one son, I have four sons-- but it is funny how alike they can be. We each have a sweet, lovable, very gifted, but not especially motivated, chore avoider. We each have a self motivated, overly mature, and a little bossy, child. The jury is still out on the others, my third is my sweet, funny, free spirit. My fourth is just a ham, so smart though. I really miss being able to hug my old friends when times are rough. I miss having a glass of wine, and telling silly stories about our youth. I miss crackin' crabs, and drinking beer, in the hot, sweaty mon...

Start Monday with a smile...

Good morning friends. I hope your week is off to a good start. This morning I am off to the PFA installation breakfast. Translation, I am jumping back in to Elementary school politics. I took a hiatus for the past 2 years, and much to my surprise, I missed it a little. I have my trusty assistant Nicholas in tow, nothing like a 4 year old to spice up a meeting. As I have whined about before, my Nicholas is off to school in the Fall, it will very strange not to have him with me all of the time. He has been attending meetings, and going every where I go since his birth. Life is good, and relatively calm. I am sorting through our family challenges one by one. My oldest is done with school for the year, so he is the only one in the house "on vacation". That is strange. Only a week and 1/2 more for the rest. I am still hoping that some free lance work comes up for me in the next few weeks. It would make some of our other challenges (potentially moving, etc..) a bit l...

Home, what's next?

Today is the last day of school for my oldest. The other guys still have two more weeks of school. That is one of the many joys of having kids in multiple school districts. Keeping track of the schedules is mind boggling. I am not really prepared for summer. There is simply to much going on at once. I have to say, for once, this chaos is not of my own making. Dealing with the whole "our house is for sale" thing is enough to give me an ulcer. I cannot seem to get my head around the idea of moving. I am looking at homes, but nothing seems good to me. I feel like I need to establish a date, to give my brain a little structure to grab on to. Right now the whole situation seems so open ended. The house could sell fast, could sell slow, could not sell at all. I have no clue. I am just not really comfortable with letting the real estate market dictate the details of our next move. I would rather control it myself. Therein lies the rub. I think I would be better off ...

Is procrastination genetic?

I experienced a surreal sense of deja vu last night. I was watching my son struggle through algebra problems with my husband by his side going through each one with him. Sounds kind of Norman Rockwell, but it wasn't, let me set the stage. #1 His Algebra final is today. He didn't study more than a wink all weekend. He did however read a lot of Manga , play a lot of video games, hang out with friends, and avoid a lot of chores. #2 His Dad was using every ounce of restraint. He was trying to maintain a calm, unfrustrated countenance, even though his face was turning red, and his knuckles were white from clenching his fists. #3 My son couldn't have looked more bored, put out, or irritated. Eyes rolling, deep sighs, looking into space, the whole deal. Then this morning he has the audacity to say, "Mom, you always tell me it is not good to cram before a test, but Dad kept me up till 11pm last night"-- he conveniently neglects the part where I tell him to stud...

Welcome June!

What a lovely Memorial Day Weekend! Gorgeous weather here, sunny & cool. All of the kids had a ball swimming, even my husband got in the pool, and that doesn't happen often. Jeff and the kids slept out in the tent (in the back yard). I got to catch up with my College roommate. We cooked out, had friends over. It was super relaxing. I understand it was seriously hot on the East Coast, looks like Summer is coming all at once for you all. I am a little bummed that we have to get back to our normal routine tomorrow morning. Jeff and I told the kids this weekend that we may have to move. The owners of our home have decided to put the house on the market, and while they are offering us first option to buy, we are not in the position to do so. I am still praying for a miracle. I know there are other homes out there, but I really love this one. I am praying that God opens a door wide, that will make the circumstances bend in miraculous ways, to enable us to either buy this h...

A chink in the armor...

If you ran in to me today, you might have noticed a chink in the armor. I had a rough day. It was the kind of day that I would normally stay home, and keep my cards close to the vest. No staying home for me though. It was Open House night at my 4 th graders school. I went to the open house. I smiled, I said hello to friends and acquaintances , but I wasn't myself, and I believe it showed. I'm sorry if any of my grouchy, bummer day, spilled out. I really try to keep a positive attitude despite what may be going on, but today I just didn't have it in me. The Open house was lovely though. The Art Show looked great. My son's classroom (Mrs. Smith, 4 th grade) looked amazing. It was great to see those faces I only see at school events. Christy and I took the boys to Menchie's after, for a great big yogurt, in the beautiful Calabasas Commons. All is good in the world, and I am blessed.

Summer days are fast approaching

I cannot believe how fast this year has gone by. My oldest only has one more week of school left, and the others are not far behind him. I enjoy summer, but I'm not quite mentally prepared for it. Good bye quiet days. I really need to get planning. My hope is that I'll be doing some contract writing this summer, so it will be even more important for me to keep these boys busy. I have to gear up for a fall where I have four children in four different schools. The simple logistics of getting everyone where they need to be on time is a little much to figure out. One school on one end of Calabasas , one school on the far highlands side of Calabasas , one down the street, and one in Woodland Hills. They all pretty much start and end at the same time, so short of cloning myself, I'm not sure how I will swing it. I have confidence it will all work out though. I'm going to miss having Nick at home. He is my last baby, and he is headed off to Kindergarten, :(. I have ...

The child can choose to be...a puppy, a squirrel, a girl???

I remember my father telling me once that "You'll be a conservative, when you have something to conserve". He was right. I have to tell you friends (and I know many of you fall on the more liberal side of the fence), that age, parenthood, and faith, have definitely influenced how I feel about things. I'm sure you saw that article about the family who has not disclosed the sex of their baby, even to close family members. They want to ensure that he/she can assume any identity they please, and won't be bound by social /gender expectations etc.... So does that mean, if the child decides being a puppy would be more fun, they can just decide to be a puppy? Are we humans so powerful that we should just decide that our will is more important than our Creators design? It just seems completely whack to me, so arrogant. I am all for not limiting yourself, for reaching for the stars, being the best that you can be--But, I am floored by the arrogance of those who b...

Doggie Dilemma

I need a little help here. If you have wisdom to lend , please email me. Ok , I have two dogs. Duke, a black lab/ sharpei mix, about 5 years old. He was a rescue, had a few issues, but has a great temperament , and is a great pet. Murphy, also a rescue, but a puppy, around 1 we think. He is an attention hog. He chews everything. He digs. He has now progressed from chewing Nick's toys, to trying to chew shoes. He chews cables of any kind (we have lost countless DS chargers, phone cords, etc...). He scares the pee out of the Gardner's , and any other service person who comes near our yard. Having said all of that, Murphy is sweet and affectionate, and super cute. We love him, we just don't know how to do the puppy thing I guess. My oldest son is reading dog training websites, and is working with him a little bit each day. My husband, who is not a huge dog fan, but has really grown to love Duke, is getting a bit irritated by the naughty puppy behavior from Mur...

Don't let your child become a JPEG

Alright, I must ask...who among us is guilty of being less diligent about taking pictures and getting them into albums with our younger children, than we were with the older ones???? Admit it. Is your youngest resigned to viewing their childhood on jpeg files? I am ashamed to say, poor Nick see's his childhood mostly on Daddy's phone, or on facebook albums. :( Now some of you may not think that is a big deal, but I must point out that technology is constantly changing. Those files, so easy to enjoy now may not be as accessible to you 20 years from now (unless you are super diligent about backing things up, changing formats, etc... are you?) If you have been to my home, you know that I have been a dedicated scrapbooker since about 1996 (the year my oldest was born). My shelves are full of completed albums, close to 60 I believe. In the beginning I really enjoyed doing it. It was fantastic social time. I would hang out with my girlfriends, we would drink wine, tell stor...

Home, is where we we are together

How is it, that life can be filled with so many possibilities, and so many impossible choices at the same time? I am a content woman. Life is good. It just seems that with every blessing comes a difficult circumstance or challenge to overcome. Every time I am AMAZED at a blessing, it seems to be followed with a sacrifice??? Is that just how life works? I'll share with you something personal, that will help you to understand my state of mind. We sold our home back east, and invested most everything we had in this move (to Los Angeles), in Jeff's business. I have no regrets about that. I gave up a lucrative career in order to stay home to raise my sons. Again, no regrets. Those decisions had consequences. As a result of choices we made, we are now in the position where leasing our home is our only option. The owners of our home, would like to sell, and cash out. I have made a home for my family no matter where we are, but we have become very happy and comfortable i...

Girls and boys, so different

Having been around lot's of little girls lately, it is clear to me that God knew what he was doing when he gave me boys. I love little girls. I love their sweetness, their cuteness, the way they mimic grown ups, it is all very sweet. I don't think however, that I would be an especially nurturing Mama to a little girl. My parenting style while very affectionate, is also very, no-nonsense, "get over yourself", and take those tears out of here fast. I have been gifted with a very low tolerance for whining, and (unless there is injury or blood, even then, I can be a little tough) tears drive me crazy. Now that is funny coming from a woman, who can be quite whiny, and very tearful (hormones I tell ya, hormones). Tattle tale behavior sends me reeling, and ends up getting everyone punished. I don't freak out and run to the field/rink/mat when one of my boys gets jostled or hurt during the game/match. I don't panic over blood. I feel confident that my bo...

Change again, DRAT!

How do you handle change? Does it stress you out? Does it make you lose sleep, or get stomach aches?? I can handle change ok , once I am sure what the change is going to be. Where I have trouble is, "limbo land". Not knowing how things will work out, not being sure what the change will look like, stresses me out beyond belief. It often seems that changes happen in bunches for me. Never one thing at a time. So now I have a few of our "changes" settled, and whooooop , out of no where drops a big one, that impacts all of the other things I thought were all settled. Now how do I handle that one??? Well I already have a stomach ache, and I can feel the stress building. Of course, I feel like this is a test of my faith. Can I let go of the stress and trust that God will see us through, and that it will all work out as it should? He has proven to me over and over that he cares and will intervene on our behalf if I am faithful and prayerful. His solution isn'...

Loving the rain

Wow, we have had rain here in SoCal two days in a row. It is kind of cool. The kids love when it rains. Rain brings with it a certain permission to slow down a little. We don't get it often, so when we do I relish in the dark clouds, and the pitter patter on the roof. I enjoy my morning coffee cuddled up on the couch with a good book. I love the way the rose bushes look after a good rain too. Unfortunately today is not a day that I can just chill like I would love to. There are school drop off's & pick ups, wrestling practices, band concerts, chores, all of my normal stuff that still needs to get done. But I will approach it all with an easy going, rainy day attitude today. Enjoy!

Lucky 13, even better if it falls on a Friday.

Most people get a shiver down their spines when you mention that Friday the 13th is coming up. They imagine scary movies, a day full of trips & falls, bad news, etc. The number 13 is my lucky number and Friday the 13th has always been a day of good fortune for me. This past Friday was no exception, hey I even won a prize in the Mega Millions drawing on Friday, it was only $7, but a win is a win! It is strange how this number has reoccurred in my life over and over. Both my sister and I were born on the 13th. My closest childhood friend Stacey Hasener, was also born on the 13th. My first real boyfriend was born on the 13th, that was Doug Fritz. My first love, Jody Hauck, was also born on the 13th, and most importantly, I met my husband (the love of my life) on Friday the 13th. How cool is that. I'll never forget talking to my Mom on the phone, on Friday March 13th, 1992, she said," hey you should go to happy hour today after work, it is the 13th you know, you might...

Boy madness abounds

So my husband left for Detroit on business, and here I am with our four (of my own) kids, one cousin, and one teenage friend. Video games, little brother torture, and food scavenging abound. Boys like nothing better than to eat, shoot things, and wrestle around narrowly missing lamps, etc... Good times. I actually have some writing (not blogging, but technical writing) to get done tonight, and I am trying to figure out how I am going to create an oasis of concentration and peace in this crazy house. Some ideas.... -- gag them all and put them in a closet..... just kidding. -- put on head phones, listen to music and try to block them out. -- go to someone else's house to write, leaving them to fend for themselves. -- write in the middle of the night when they are all peacefully snoozing. So many options, and all soooo attractive. I'll figure it out, always do. Have a great Sunday night!

Spring Showers...

Life is such a whirlwind. It seems that things always happen in droughts or monsoons in my family. I am so pleased that so many good things are happening. Spring is a season of renewal, and so many new things are blooming here in the Rhodes clan. Nick is headed to kindergarten, Jack is off to high school, William is wrapping up a great first year of high school, and Michael will be in 5 th grade! My husband is working hard, and seeing fruit both at work and in creative endeavours . I have some good work opportunities on the horizon. It seems we walked down a path, and God is blessing it. When I pray for God to open doors that will lead us in his will, and slam shut those that are not in his will, he delivers. Optimism is surging, and it feels good. I much prefer living on an optimistic high, than sporting a stress and worry filled outlook. I know that all good things come with associated action items and potential stressors , but I'll take it over anxiety any day of th...

When life feels heavy, SING & clean????

While my goal with each new day is to approach my tasks with sunshine and light, I am not always successful. Some days, the burdens of life feel heavy. Stress threatens to take over. Worry about things I cannot control threatens to overwhelm me. Every woman struggles with days like this I think. Most days I can get a grip on things through prayer. I lean on my Lord, knowing he has a plan for me, and he wants to prosper me, not harm me. Today in all honesty, I am feeling weak. I will acknowledge that while I am under a lot of pressure, it likely feels a little bigger and heavier today because of hormones. Being a woman is extra challenging because of our monthly gift of humility (cramps, headaches, blues, all that loveliness). I won't do what I feel like doing today. (laying on the couch watching TV , weeping over commercials, eating junk) I will spend some time in the Word, take a shower, crank up some music, and tackle some household chores. I will play with my toddle...

Mother's are gift

Having just celebrated Mother's Day, it just started me thinking about how fortunate I was to have a Mom. I have a Mother who was always there for me, always provided for me (with help from Dad of course), saw to it that I got a good education, and who to this day, loves and supports me. It is easy to take that for granted if you have always had a mother you could count on. My youngest son is adopted. We adopted him from the Foster Care system here in Los Angeles. People often ask me what made us decide to adopt, we had three healthy boys already. Jeff and I have always had a heart for the lost ones. The ones who might otherwise be bounced around, and raised in the system. We were so fortunate when we got Nicholas. He was healthy, and thankfully he has been in the care of our family since he was 2 days old, so he never met the future he might have had. He had the protective arms of a Mother by day two, Praise God for that. Many kids are not as lucky as Nicholas. Many kids ...

The blessing of hectic weekends

What a nice weekend. As hectic as it can be maneuvering through the social & sports schedule of a family of six, I wouldn't want it any other way. I never imagined myself to be sitting on the sidelines cheering on my boys in brutal hand to hand combat (wrestling), watching them struggle and bleed (nose bleeds). I am so proud of all of them. We are coming up on football season, I know, ALREADY??? I only have one playing this year, and he is in High school, so believe it or not, that will make it a little easier on the Mom chauffeur. As busy as these crazy days are, I know there will be a day when I will long for the days when our Saturdays were booked from 7am-7pm. I know I will miss all of it. My two oldest sons are becoming men right before my eyes. In a few short years William will be off to college, with Jack right behind him the following year. Sigh........ Fortunately for me, God knows my heart, and brought Nick & Michael to me, so that I have many years left ...

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day friends. I have no crystal ball to tell me how your day is going, but I hope you have a lovely day. I hope you look around, and breathe in the smell of your "babies", and smile a smile of incredible gratitude. Whether you are treated like a Queen today, or whether life swirls about you like any other day, I pray you are filled with joy. Give thanks for all of those who cherish you. Give everyone kisses. Give hugs with abandon. Smile, knowing that your love and presence is so very meaningful in their lives. You are more important to them than you know, or than they could ever express. They are grateful for you. Have a beautiful and blessed day.

Middle Child motivation....

I know I write about my children a lot. I hope it doesn't bore you to tears. If so, feel free to skip reading today. In my defense, I originally started this blog as a book. My intention being to document my love for my family, the joys and tears of parenthood, to communicate to my husband and sons how important I have found it to develop a personal relationship with God. Along the road I know I have detailed life with my beautiful toddler Nick. I have detailed my amazing love for my oldest William. I know I have discussed my special soul, who marches to his own groove, Michael. I do not think that I have given you a snapshot of my incredible, 2 nd son Jack. I always thought birth order didn't mean a lot, but I believe there is something to all of that first born, second born, middle child research. Jack is proof positive. He was always the sweetest, and most obedient of my children. The boy who won over the hearts of adults. He has always been the one to push himsel...