Every woman has moments when she has trouble seeing the sunshine through the clouds. Some struggle more frequently than others. I have one day per month, typically around the 30th, and on this day I am sad. I am worried. I simply, "can't see blue skies". I tell myself that the feeling of gloom is not real. The sky isn't falling. My world is still in tact. In that 24 hour period however, I just can't believe it. Some might say, sheesh Victoria, go on medication for goodness sakes! I just don't believe that is necessary. The knowledge that tomorrow I will wake up with renewed optimism is enough to get me through the rough day. Thankfully what used to be days of gloom, doesn't last long at all anymore. Depression sucks, even if it only lasts 24 hours. My boys recognize that I am having my rough day, and try not to take my crankiness personally. To be honest, they all kind of just try to stay out of my path. Can't blame them for that. Tomorrow I will be the Mom, wife and friend you all know and love. For tonight I think I'll make a chai tea, take a hot bath, and read a book.
I am a girl with strong faith. Strong, blind, childlike faith. My atheist friends are bewildered by it. They cannot understand how such a smart woman would believe such "nonsense". I have no explanation other than, I just do. I preface this post with that statement because, you won't find me quoting scripture here. Though I would if I were more confident in my ability to do so competently. I do not have that confidence, never have. I am a believer. My belief has been nurtured by life experience, by answered prayers, by constant evidence that God cares about me. I see his hand in big things and small. I look to him for guidance and help in all things. I am not a Biblical scholar. I have always been somewhat insecure about that. I am bolstered up by the words of a Godly woman much wiser than I who assures me that "I am living my walk out loud". My faith is not in my knowledge of the scripture, but in the...
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