Every woman has moments when she has trouble seeing the sunshine through the clouds. Some struggle more frequently than others. I have one day per month, typically around the 30th, and on this day I am sad. I am worried. I simply, "can't see blue skies". I tell myself that the feeling of gloom is not real. The sky isn't falling. My world is still in tact. In that 24 hour period however, I just can't believe it. Some might say, sheesh Victoria, go on medication for goodness sakes! I just don't believe that is necessary. The knowledge that tomorrow I will wake up with renewed optimism is enough to get me through the rough day. Thankfully what used to be days of gloom, doesn't last long at all anymore. Depression sucks, even if it only lasts 24 hours. My boys recognize that I am having my rough day, and try not to take my crankiness personally. To be honest, they all kind of just try to stay out of my path. Can't blame them for that. Tomorrow I will be the Mom, wife and friend you all know and love. For tonight I think I'll make a chai tea, take a hot bath, and read a book.
I enter this new week a little tired, but smiling. Why? No drama this weekend. We had sunshine, and sports, and cuddle time--- less the drama. Most families don't experience the intense level of emotions that the Rhodes clan does. Sure, they have the hectic life of families, perhaps some fighting, the normal mess--- perhaps a little teen hormone induced drama....but we have drama of a different kind in our house. The kind of drama caused by a brain that is shooting off crazy chemicals induced by years of trauma. When our son Victor is home, the whole world is a great big land mine. Saying the wrong thing, calling him out on behavior, or even suggesting that he not eat a 4th serving of ice cream can cause the the peace to recede, and for chaos to ensue. He is now in a boarding school for kids with emotional issues. As sad as it is that our family isn't all together--- I must admit that the peace in our household is a welcome blessing. We are learning more and more
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