Did you ever think that allowing yourself to appear weak in front of others could be a gift? I didn't. I thought the fact that I can get so emotional was definitely a weakness. I cry over commercials, I cry when I watch Oprah, I cry when I hear awesome music, and I definitely cry when I am going through a rough spot, and I am sharing it with someone. I met a really amazing woman last year, her name is Rita. I had a particularly rough year last year. Tough financial times, struggling with depression a little, but I was still plugging through. I saw Rita once a week (She was the leader of my Women's Bible Study group) , and she would call me once a week. She didn't know the details of my troubles, but she knew I was having a difficult time. Her sincerity, and warm hugs, never failed to make me cry. I would get all embarrassed. I told her that it was humiliating to me that I could not control my emotions. I shared with her that I at one time used prescription medication (anti-depressants) to help me manage these emotions. They would allow me to stay straight faced and calm, even under stress. I don't like feeling out of control. I chose to go off of that medication many years ago because even though I don't like to break down in front of others, I also don't like to be stoic. It is not me. If I am calm and cool, I want it to be a genuine peace I am feeling, not a drug induced one. One day when I was talking to Rita, she told me that my ability to expose my vulnerability was a gift that God had given me. She said that most people would look at me and think I had my act together all of the time, they might not see themselves as like me, because on the outside I am pretty buttoned up. By allowing myself to be vulnerable, to share my own struggles and weakness, I am showing others God's love. Talk about turning the typical "What is your weakness" interview question into a positive--- Rita rocks. I am not embarrassed by tears anymore. What weakness" do you have that could be used for God's purpose?
Every woman has things in her life she is willing to pay for, and things she feels like she can and should do herself. My list is generally a little different than most women I think. My sister would tell you it is because I think I can do things better than other people, hee , hee ... she thinks I am a bit on the controlling side. I cut my own hair, do my own hair color, do my own facials, make jewelry, that sort of thing. I will admit, it is a rare occasion that I pay hundreds of dollars for a color and cut, and walk out feeling amazing. I am almost always disappointed in the result. I get a manicure & pedicure, and always regret the color choice- or see smudges. It just makes me mad to pay a lot of money for mediocre results. (I can get mediocre results myself!) One thing I definitely am willing to pay for, that I easily admit I am the worst at, is CLEANING MY HOUSE!! I really hate it. I love the calm and peace that comes with the clean, well organized home. I thri...
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